


Tfw you’re a villain in love with a hero

by blagapoyt



Category: Homestuck
Genre: A little, Angst?, Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Mild Gore, Mutual Pining?, Quadrant Blurring, Wait I know, alternate universe - heroes and villains, as a treat, i don't fucking know, i just work here man, i made this three years ago, i still don't know how to tag, it's not like i know what's in the fic i never read it, karkat-typical quadrant bullshit, sorry if its OOC, thats. the entire point of this au and i forgot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-19
Updated: 2021-02-19
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:00:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 23,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29565078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blagapoyt/pseuds/blagapoyt
Summary: Dave is a hero that was always fucking up Karkat's plans. the story begins when their routine gets turned on its side.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas, Minor RoseMary
Comments: 9
Kudos: 30





	Tfw you’re a villain in love with a hero

**Author's Note:**

> this is a fic from when i was in my homestuck phase. i never finished it and recently found it in my drive so i decided to finish it! sorry if it feels off. i never wrote this with the intention of posting it online, so it's complete and utter self-indulgence. when i finished i thought i might as well post it. also, i'm too tired to break this into chapters you it's just one big glob of text with the occasional page-break:~)
> 
> and of course, this hasn't been proof-read so you're sure to find some mistakes here and there.

> Dave: review

It’s another busy night in Skaia City. The lights under you glimmer as you stand at the edge of a rooftop. Tonight’s haul was as following:

\- one (1) ATM robber, apprehended;

\- Two (2) women, walked them home;

-one (1) car chase, cars totalled, including those belonging to the police. (the best part about being vigilante is not having to deal with that)

Alright, so maybe not _that_ busy considering how big Skaia is. The others probably have more on their hands in their parts of tonight’s shift. It’s still hard, protecting the city. You love doing it though.

Your name is Dave Strider, and you are the one and only Knight of Time.

Some backstory. You grew up in an abusive home with your bro. he wanted you to be his successor in whatever gross business he was in. which was about the only reason he adopted you. he taught you how to fight and, in the process, taught you how to avoid him and not trust anyone but yourself. Kind of fucked you up, but you got over it (you did not get over it). You discovered you had time powers and accidentally killed the guy. You decided to use those powers and the ninja shit he taught you for good, instead.

Anyway, back to the present. You hop around some roofs and disturb some children sleeping in the attic. You can fly, but it looks cooler this way.

You whack some guy stealing a car and chained him to a streetlight. The usual. You keep an eye out for any other roof hopping shadows though. You haven’t seen any this whole week. He must be up to something.

‘he’ being a villain named Karkat Vantas. As a superhero, you obviously have an arch nemesis, a rival who keeps coming back. The Knight of Blood is the joker to your batman, the Luthor to your superman and the peanut butter to your jelly. Which is to say that you hate his guts. You hate pb&j sandwiches and you don’t know why everyone loves them so much, but it’s a nice metaphor to use. Vantas has been the bane of your existence since he appeared… Okay, not really, you guess. You always beat him. He always escapes. And then comes back again like some kind of tv show bad guy who needs to keep the show running to squeeze every penny from the series it can get. You think of him as an impromptu sparring partner at most. He works with some other trolls in the underworld, but you’re always the one fucking up _his_ plans to take over the world or whatever. Of course, you still fight other baddies from his villain group chat. But you’ve been on this guy’s tail from the start.

Just as you finish your train of thought, you hear an explosion nearby an abandoned factory. You haven’t failed to notice how he never hurts any citizens when he’s on his bullshit. You hop to the source of the grey cloud, sword at the ready.

You enter the building silently through a smashed ceiling window like the cliché hero you are. You jump down and the first thing you’re met with is a pair of asscheeks in gray spandex. About 10 feet away from you, Vantas is leaning down, fucking with some wires in the machine where the smoke is coming from and cursing it out. You guess it wasn’t intentional this time. You clear your throat and he jumps up.

“Ah! Strider. I expected you,” he says as he turns around, his capes swirling behind him. copycat. You guess it’s only logical, since he’s also a knight.

“If I might ask, what the fuck is that?” you ask, pointing to the machine behind him innocently.

“It’s the thing that’ll lead to your painful and cruel death. Just one push on this button will teach you that fucking with us trolls will be the worst mistake of your life,” he says, pointing to a blue button.

“So, who helped you build it?”

“No one!” he looks away, “…….Equius.” Yeah sounds about right.

“well, I’m not really in the mood to die, so do you mind not pushing the button?” you banter. It’s something you like to do. You bicker and get to know more about Vantas and what his deal is.

“Actually, I don’t this time. It’s not done yet, so can you come back in like, 5 hours?” he looks at his wrist, which does not have a watch.

“Nah, I’ll just sit here and watch you finish it so we can have an epic showdown where I beat your ass and blow up your machine.”

Karkat growls.

“I’ll just have to kick you out myself then.” He takes out his trademark sickles. You grin. Confident in your ability to beat him.

He lunges at you and you block the sickle with your sword. You jump back before he can swing the other one at your face.

“That’s not a way to let out a guest,” you say.

“You want me to wave you off until you disappear over the horizon?” you go for his legs. He doges just in time for you to not hit the machine behind him.

“That would be nice, Vantass, but we both know you don’t have the patience to keep waving for that long,” you say, emphasizing on the _ass_ in his name. hah, classic.

“That’s not my fucking name and you know it,” he says, annoyed. He flings both sickles at you in a cross and you block them just in front of your face. He’s close, you make eye contact for a second and you give him a smirk, which catches him off guard. You push him and he trips over his own feet and falls against the machine. Whoops.

The machine starts whirring and Vantas moves to show he’s accidentally pressed a big red button when he fell. Big red buttons are always a bad sign. He turns around, panicked.

“Shit.” You both say in unison.

You don’t think any good will come for either of you if the machine wasn’t done yet. Fuck, you think it’s gonna explode. You grab Vantas, who was screwing with the insides again to no avail. You run out with his wrist in your grasp and you slow down time to give yourself more time to get out just in time for the machine to blow. Time.

A moment passes where you both retaliate from almost being blown away quite literally. You lean against the wall. You’re thankful Vantas chose a sturdy building like this one or the walls may not have protected you from the explosion. You notice Vantas is staring at you, disoriented.

“…What?” you ask?

“Why…did you save me?”

“Uh, because I’m a superhero. That kinda what I do” the word superhero feels weird in your mouth. Bro made you hate the idea of being a hero once. Since you thought he was a hero, and you subconsciously associated the word with him, Rose told you.

“Yeah, and I’m a villain. Aren’t you supposed to kill me or something?”

“What- no. you may be a baddie and all that, but. That doesn’t mean you deserve to die.” You say, “Like a wise man once said, you’re a bad-guy. But this does not mean you are a bad guy.”

“Ok shut up I already lost you. you know you could’ve just tied me up for the cops to find me in the time you took to quote a movie, right?”

“Nah, you would’ve escaped prison anyway. That place is for losers who rob banks, not losers who want to blow up the moon.”

“Hey, I never wanted to blow up the moon!” he says, exasperated. He goes to lean against the wall next to you. “Fuck I’m gonna need a minute. I almost died.”

“Yeah you’re welcome by the way.” You say, sarcastically.

“Oh, uh. Yeah. Thanks.”

“What was the machine supposed to do, anyway. I can’t imagine its purpose was to explode.”

“No, it wasn’t, bulgefuck. It was supposed to throw laser balls or something. I didn’t really listen to what equius told me.”

“Ha. You didn’t even know. Anyway, have fun cleaning all that up.”

“I sure will… once I capture you!” he takes a swing at you thinking he took you by surprise. You easily dodge the sickle and start floating upwards.

“hey, that’s not fair I can’t fly!!” the shrinking figure jumps up and down and punches the air in anger.

“nice try. Maybe next time, knight of blood.”

\---

> Dave: avoid question

“So how was patrol tonight,” Rose asks next to you. she’s reading a book while you play some shitty bootleg tony hawk.

“Nothing unusual. Beat some bad guys, saved some good guys.”

“You mean Karkat?” you stiffen, pause the game and look at her.

“How do you know about that? And don’t call them by their first names that’s weird.”

“Maryam, the Sylph of Space, told me about it just before she escaped.” Rose makes a weird face saying the last part, “She told me to give you her Thanks.”

“Oh. Well it was no biggie, really. Don’t mention it. Let’s not ever bring it up ever again, actually.”

“That would be a waste, Dave. Maybe I can finally see into that jumbled head of yours if I understand it better.” You unpause the game. God, Please, make this conversation end.

“Please do not use your lighty thing on my jumbled head.”

“I thought you hated the Knight of Blood, Dave.” She says, smugly.

“Anyway- how’s it going with your crush on Maryam?” you say, changing the subject. She goes red.

“Well, I’m not really over it yet. I’ve noticed she has been reluctant to use her chainsaw on me and opted for less dangerous weapons against my needles. It’s been driving me crazy, actually.”

“Hah. Why don’t you ask her out next time you fight?” she slumps down.

“ I don’t know how to approach her, really. She’s a villain, and I’m a hero. How would we be able to make it work? And that’s considering she’s actually interested in me. Maybe she just pities me with my small wands.”

“You know pity is like a form of troll romance, right?”

“Dave, do not dare to school me on troll romance when you barely know anything yourself.”

\---

> Dave: respire

You’re tired. The guy you fought was difficult to say the least. You had to use your time powers to beat him, which is pretty scary. You only use your time powers to save people, not beat them up. That’s what your sword is for.

The guy had some crazy-ass weapons considering they were all made of cardboard. You did beat him, Put him in losers-who-want-to-blow-up-the-moon jail and disappeared before the cops could get you too. The guy did a number on you though. Bruises and scraps all over. You’re sitting on the Skaian Rising Tower. The highest building in the city, your favourite spot. You’re sore but you can go on you guess. If Vantas isn’t up to anything tonight, you’ll be fine. Despite how you tend to shit talk him, he can be pretty skilled with those sickles.

Like the universe could hear you mumble to yourself, you get a notification from Jade, who suspected him to be near the seaport. You sigh and get up. You fly to the port this time since you’re not feeling up to hopping around right now. The map Jade gave you was pointed to some storage blocks near the east. Again, no people there at this time. You meant it when you said he wasn’t a bad guy. The things you always stop him from doing are stupid and not all that harmful to society. Freezing a coffee shop, stealing a farms livestock, exploding some rich guys tower. The last one you told him it would hurt innocent people and he just paused the alarm on the bomb and escaped while you disarmed it. You wonder sometimes what he’s doing it for.

When you arrive, you see Vantas leaning against a cargo container, waiting for something. He looks up and for a moment you just stare at each other. The waves are aggressive, and the wind is heavy near the coast, blowing his hair into a hot mess. Not that it wasn’t already a bird’s nest. Also not saying he’s hot.

“What the fuck do you want, strider. I’m not doing anything bad right now. go beat up some other asshole.”

“Heard you were in the area. What are you waiting for?”

“None of your fucking business”

“I’m guessing it actually is. I’ll wait with you, then.”

“Hm.” He considers it for a moment. “No, you won’t.” he takes out his sickles. God fucking dammit.

You take the first blow this time, trying to finish it early. He blocks your sword and pushes you back. You spar for a bit, you block and swing your sword and he dodges and swipes back. It goes on like that until you’re pressing yourself against a container. You didn’t notice he was pushing you back but Vantas is running at you and it’s too late to roll away. You try to block his swing but you’re tired and sore. You close your eyes ready for a sickle in your face, but when you open them it’s Vantas’ face instead, his sickle around your neck into the container, rendering you unable to move.

“Looks like I finally got you pinned, strider.” He grins. He uses his other sickle to point your chin towards him. he’s _really_ close.

“How’s it feel to be on the other end of things? Not all that great huh?” there’s a malice in his voice, like he’s fed up with losing all this time. You’re so fucking tired. You kick him in the stomach, and he flies back, letting go of the sickle set in the container. You take it out and throw it a good distance away. He’s about to get up when you strike your sword. He blocks, still on the ground and pushes you away again, this time with more ease because of how tired you are. You’re pretty sure you’re bleeding too. Great. You both take half a second to stand up before going back into fighting position. you’re breathing heavily. Maybe you should’ve gone home after that other guy. Fuck, you don’t think you can keep this up. Vantas runs at you but stops halfway through his swing. Why did he stop? Your view is fading, things are spinning. You can’t keep your balance.

You proceed to pass out right on the spot.

\---

> Dave: awaken

God damnit it’s too bright in here. Where are your shades? You try to reach out for them, but you can’t. Why can’t you move? You slowly open your eyes, turning your head away from the Lightsource. Huh. You’re tied up. The chair in which you’re sitting in is pretty comfortable, you notice. Where the hell are you?

From the corner of your eye you notice someone walking back and forth. Cursing and muttering to themselves. You then notice that person is Karkat Vantas. The nubby troll is now out of his villain apparel and is now wearing a grey sweater with what you assume is his sign.

“Fuck dude can you turn down the lights?” he flinches and stops pacing.

“Oh, shit you’re awake. Uh yeah sure.” He goes to turn on a different dimmer light and turns off the one blinding you. finally able to see, you look around. It’s an apartment. Pretty cosy for a place belonging to a super villain.

“Dude what is this place, is this your apartment?”

“Where the grubbing fuck was I supposed to take you then? Do I look like I have enough money to buy myself a secret evil base?”

“Well you’d think a villain would at least steal enough money for a sick evil base, yeah.”

“Fucking hell, Strider you really scared me.” He says in a sigh.

“What? How come?”

“You just fucking passed out on me in the middle of a battle! You senseless nooksniffing asswad!!”

“Huh. I guess that did happen. But you got to capture me, right? So, It works out.”

“Holy shit, you’re insufferable.” He takes a moment to gather himself, takes a breath and looks you in the eyes, which are still shades-less. “Listen up, dicksquad, you are now captured by Karkat Vantas, Knight of blood and leader of Alternia” right. That’s what their group was called. You always forget. He immediately looks away when he finishes talking.

“What. Can’t suppress the Strider charm without the Shades?” you tip your head a little and raise one eyebrow. He starts blushing. Mission accomplished.

"Shut the fuck up. It’s just. Your eyes, they’re uh,” he pauses, frowning a bit deeper, “Red.”

“I know it’s unusual, but you don’t have to alienate me for being an albino monkey.”

“Just, shut up. Drop it. Or I’ll stab them out with a fork.”

“Alright, geez.” You lean back into the seat, looking as comfortable as you manage with your arms and legs tied up. He shoves your shades back onto your face, a little wonky, but it’s there. “Anyway, what’re you gunna do with me now that you’ve captured me?”

“Ugh. Look. It sounds stupid, but I never actually thought I’d ever get this far.” You snort.

“Dude, you’re the worst villain ever. I can’t believe you’re my arch nemesis.”

“I’m your arch nemesis?” he repeats, flabbergasted. “I mean. Don’t get too full of yourself. I’m pretty high up within the ranks of Alternia.”

“You just said you were the leader.”

“Yeah! I’m the leader. See? You should be honoured to be my arch nemesis! You’re welcome for that, you ungrateful sack of shit.”

“Is this what you’re planning to do with me for the rest of my life? Using me as a conversation partner cause no one’s willing to put up with your crap?”

“Hold your shitting hoofbeasts, I’m still thinking about that. Maybe I’ll just kill you so I don’t have to listen to your cluckbeast shit spilling out of your chargrin tunnel. I’m allowed to do that because I’m a villain, right?”

“Do you have any idea what your job entails?”

“Fucking hell, I’m calling Kanaya.”

\---

> Dave: listen in

“ _Karkat? Why are you calling me at this time of night? I am kind of in the middle of something._ ” An elegant voice comes out of the phone when Karkat puts his palmhusk on speaker for some fucking reason.

“Hey Kanaya, uh. I also kinda have a situation here. D-“

“ _Is that Karkat?”_ some other guy with a fishy voice yells, interrupting him, “ _Vantas, where the fuck are you we’re getting our glubbing butts obliterated. Get your ass over here or it’s your fault when we die.”_

“Are you implying that you’ll die regardless of whether or not I come to save the sorry excuses you call asses?”

_“Rose, sweetie, if you do not kill Eridan this battle I will do so myself.”_ Maryam calls to the person they are presumably fighting. You really don’t know what the relationship is between the two of those.

“Holy shit what the fuck is happening on you end?”

“ _Is that the knight of Blood? Why are you calling him in the middle of our battle?”_ aaaand that’s Rose.

_“I’m terribly sorry. Karkat what is it that you wanted to ask me?”_

Karkat looks pale after hearing Rose on the other end, so you just answer for him,

“yo Rose, Vantas managed to capture me so now were hanging out at his place.”

_“What? Excuse me, Dave is that you?”_

“Stop talking to Lalonde. this isn’t supposed to-“ an explosion interrupts him. “Kanaya, come to my place when you’re done with… whatever the fuck- I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing.”

_“will do-“ Y_ ou hear another explosion cut off from the other end as the call ended.

Karkat sighs, “Why do we even fight each other if half of us has a crush on the other team?” He covers his face with his hands.

“who else has relationship problems other than Rose and Maryam then?” you ask. You don’t know about anything other than the RoseMary thing.

“Well so we have Lalonde and Kanaya, Nepeta is doing something with the witch of space and now _I’m_ \- uh. Yeah that’s about it actually.”

“And now you what, vantas? Who you crushin’ on?”

“No one, Fuck off.” He turns away. You bet he has a thing for john. Every guy has had a thing for john at least once. You weren’t an exception. That was three years ago though.

Vantas walks to a chair next to yours and drops himself in it like a sack of potatoes. He sighs.

“I just need to wait for Kanaya to come and tell me what to do with you.”

“Alrighty then.” Man, he was not kidding when he said he didn’t know what he’s doing.

After an entire minute of uncomfortable silence, you decide to break it, “So what’s your deal?”

“What?” Karkat asks with complete genuine confusion.

“I’m asking what you became a villain for. Like. What’s your sad, edgy backstory? As your arch nemesis, I’m entitled to it, you know?”

“You know what, I can’t even get myself to give a shit. Just. It’s a real load of emotional baggage. You won’t tell anyone else, alright? Or I’ll have your head.”

“Of course, man. I could never betray my one and only.” He looks away.

“I’m uh different, I guess.”

“Yeah I got that.”

“Do you wanna hear my sad backstory or not?”

“I’d make a zipping gesture, but my arms are tied so.”

“Fucking- alright. I’ll just tell you, I don’t have the energy to be cagey with you.” he sighs again, “I’m a mutant.”

“Cool, me too.”

“Yes. But as a troll, it is a little bit of a bigger deal to be one.” He grinds his teeth.

“Alright, yeah I’m sorry, I’ll shut it.”

“Thank you.” he starts over, “Despite your weird human laws that prevent murder, I was still pretty much the most cullable creature on the planet. I had to live my life in fear. And had to be on my toes every day.” The way he lived his life reminds you of someone who used to be in the same situation. “I thought, if I have to live my life like a criminal, I might as well just be one, you know? So now I try to take over the city with my friends. And once I do that, I’ll personally make sure no other mutant will have to go through the same shit as me.”

He waits for your response for a good two minutes before you realize he’s done.

“Wow you’re a shit storyteller.” You say as you think it over. He’s a mutant. He suffered for who he was. And didn’t want anyone else go through the same. It reminds you of yourself. It’s like he was just unfortunate enough to fall onto the wrong path.

“Fuck you.” he exhales like he’d been holding his breath, “Your turn.”

“What?”

“I told my sad story, and I’m _your_ arch nemesis. Shouldn’t I get the same privileges?”

“Uh.”

“Dude, you can’t make me tell you all my shit and not expect you to do the same.”

You look away, grateful for the crooked shades on your face. “Yeah, alright. But I’m just as shit in storytelling as you are.”

“I don’t mind,” he says, with a genuine tone in his voice. Your stomach churns.

“I grew up in an abusive household,” you begin. His face shifts from curiosity to sympathy. “It fucked me up. That’s why I can hand you your own ass on a silver platter every time we fight. Cause he- my bro ‘trained’ me,” you shrug your shoulders instead of doing airquotes, “AKA, he beat me up until I stood up and fought back. And then beat me up some more.” You try to laugh it off. “I accidentally killed him with these godawful time powers. And promised myself to not ever do that again and use the shit he taught me for the exact opposite things he wanted, justice,” you say, dramatically.

“So, you’re just a hero out of spite of your shit guardian. I can respect that.”

“No, I also don’t want anyone else to go through the shit I went through and all that.”

He laughs. Man, what are you doing? making friends with the enemy? You should just go already, but Maryam hasn’t arrived yet, so that would be rude.

“Why don’t you just run for mayor? You know, the legal way of taking over town?”

“Strider, think of the person you hate the most, not counting me.”

“I don’t hate you.” Vantas reddens slightly. Not what you were going for this time but sure.

“Just- just do it.”

“Hm.. jimmy from middle school.” You look at him. he’s staring at you with a wearied look.

“Alright lame, but whatever. What if jimmy from middle school ran for mayor? That’s how literally every troll thinks of me.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess that wouldn’t work. But how does blowing up an ice cream truck to get you closer to city domination?”

“Like I know. They’re just things the chief tasked me to do. I’m pretty sure it’s just to keep me out of their faces.”

“Chief?”

“…Vriska.”

“Man, you are at the top of your game.”

“Like you’re any better. You’re currently tied up in a bad guy’s apartment.”

“Yeah, but I had a rough evening. You know how it goes.”

“I do not, in fact, know how it goes.”

“Some guy was stronger than expected and I guess I was exhausted. That nap did me good though, lemme kick your ass in a rematch.”

“I’ll decide when Kanaya gets here.” He stands up and walks to the tv. Without giving you any say in what movie you’ll have to sit through he puts up a shitty romcom.

“Dude, what. That movie is garbage.”

“No, it is not. It’s one of the few human movies I actually think are good. Just be glad I chose a human movie in courtesy to you.”

You shut up and watch the human movie and end up commenting on every stupid thing you notice about it. Vantas had given up on shutting you up halfway through and opted for rubbing on his temples instead.

\---

> Dave: Make a case

Maryam opens the door, also in her normal clothes. She sees the two of you watching a movie. You’re still tied up.

“What am I looking at here?”

“Oh, good you’re here.” Vantas gets out of his chair, walks up to the tall feminine troll, and points to you, “Help, please.”

She stares for a while before asking, “What exactly did you expect from me?”

“I don’t know, give me an idea on what to do with this assflap.”

“Well, I guess we could torture him until he gives us the location of his hero friends.”

Karkat uses a full nanosecond to think about the suggestion before yelling, “Not like that,” then, quieter, “You know I can’t have that on my conscience.”

“How about y’all just let me go,” you offer, “Not like you can get any use of me.”

Vastas looks at you with annoyed but enervated eyes. The mask never hid the bags under his eyes well, but now that he’s not wearing it the exhaustion is even more evident.

“…Fucking fine!” he throws his hands up like they’re noodles, “What the fuck do I even care. It’s not like this guy ever does anything major against Alternia except annoy the living feces out of me.”

He unties the rope and chucks it out of the window for some reason. You stand and stretch dramatically. “Thanks,” you say, doing some stupid yoga pose. Vantas smacks you on the head,

“If you keep doing that I’m going to tie you up again.”

“With what rope? You just threw it out the window. Why the hell did you do that, by the way?”

“Has it occurred to your little human thinksponge that people sometimes do things impulsively when they’re angry? Why the hell did I waste my night with fucking cherry coke over here if I was going to set him free after all?”

“Because you’re a good person maybe.”

Vastass snorts bitterly, “I wish.”

Before you can question the way he said that he moves on, “Just fucking go already, god.”

\---

> Dave: Settle down

“Jesus, Dave! Are you okay??” john, asked.

“Don’t worry, man. I’m fine. You think I can’t handle a few villains tying me up and beating information out of me?”

Apparently, the news spread like wildfire around the vigilante group you call friends. Dirk almost tortured some voidy guy to get information on your whereabouts. But other than that, people weren’t worried. It’s old news that Vantas isn’t dangerous in the slightest. Rose was having the time of her life when she was allowed to ask questions about the night. Not a lot had gone down at Vantas’, so everyone strayed to a different topic pretty quickly.

\---

> Dave: return to normal life

Routine settled back in. after those two “incidents” you and Vantas just went back to normal. He does some stupid shit that would be harmless but attention-seeking. You show up to stop him and you have an epic showdown of sickles and swords and the occasional sylladex mishap. You beat him, he gets away, and secretly you let him. you wouldn’t want him to go to Wants-to-blow-up-the-moon prison. Especially since hearing his motive for being a bad guy. The banter during encounters has become a lot more frequent. You often get lost in each other’s metaphors which annoys the other people in the fight to no end (“Stop talking about your metaphorical son’s football practise and get your head back into the fight, fuckass!”).

It was nice. But all nice things have to end sometime, you guess.

“…That’s quite concerning, if I’m being honest,” Rose said as you walked into the dining room. Roxy and Dirk sitting across from her. It’s not rare for everyone to be in the same room. But it looked like something had happened.

“Yo, what are we having a family intervention for? Did rose start drinking again?”

Rose sighed. Roxy answered for her,” Don’t joke about that, davey. It’s a touchy subject.”

“Right. My bad. What’s going on though? Y’all look like you just heard someone got thrown in prison and it’s someone we all care enough about to be worried.”

“Wow. Way to break the fourth wall, Dave,” Dirk said.

“We heard Vantas’ apartment got raided by the police.” Rose said. What.

“What,” you said.

“I heard from Kanaya. She’s been worried sick. Nobody has been able to contact him since.”

“Apparently someone tipped off his address to the SAPD,” dirk continued, “No one knows whether or not he was arrested.”

You let the words dawn on you. who would do that? it’s not like the guy had a shit ton of enemies. Sure, he’s a villain and a loudmouth. But doesn’t the guy have eleven friends? None of whom are family, so they’re forced to put up with him like with you. besides, everyone who would hate him wouldn’t know his address, right? Except…

“Everyone thinks it’s me who ratted him out don’t they?” they all nodded. You ran a hand trough your hair, “God damnit.”

“Well you’re the only person he isn’t close to who knows where he lives.” Roxy explained. You went to sit in the chair next to rose.

“We know it’s not you, Dave. Don’t worry.” Rose said.

You don’t think you’ve ever been this worried about a guy you supposedly don’t care about.

\---

> Dave: investigate

You decided to go out to see it for yourself. You’re currently flying as fast as you can, but you wish you could’ve just asked jade to teleport you there, which you can’t because she doesn’t know the coordinates or whatever.

You land on the roof of the apartment building and go down from there to the window you left from that night.

The apartment is dark, ominous. Wait.

you search for a light switch.

The apartment is well lit. you look around. Shit. It looks like there’d been signs of struggle. The chair you were sitting in a few weeks prior has been knocked to its side and a shattered mug lies untouched by the kitchen counter. You fear for the worst

\---

> Dave: Decide

The news covered it better than any of the trolls could. Vantas had been arrested and sent to prison the moment they had the knight of blood in custody. Pyrope, the seer of mind, was trying to get him out with not much luck. The system is too broken to get her any control over the situation.

You haven’t heard of a lot of trolls since Vantas got caught. You guess everyone’s a bit out of it without their fierce leader. It’s only been a few days, but you feel like your patrol nights are becoming duller by the hour. Vantas doesn’t deserve to be in prison, you think. And not only for selfish reasons. You swear on bro’s grave he hadn’t done anything that had actually impacted city-life in a negative way. He just wanted what was best for his friends and trolls like him!

you sigh.

Fuckit.

You decide to do something you didn’t think you’d dream of.

You’re going to bust a villain out of prison.

\---

> Dave: bust a villain out of prison

You managed to sneak into the police station that was on the news and grab the information on Vantas’ case. And by doing so get a hilarious amount of detail on every crime he’s committed. Sold lemonade without permit, stole an entire floor from some millionaire’s skyscraper, decked an officer and ran away. You browse through the document with a grin.

…You don’t have time for this. You set off with the newly acquired file in your hands. It says that he’s been moved to the eastern prison building. it’s late. Almost 3 AM so you can just soar through the sky without anyone wanting to shoot you down cause they think you’re a bird (yea, that happened). You hope Vantas is okay. Anyone who’s ever talked to him would know he couldn’t make it a day in prison. You can’t imagine what it’s like there for him, a small mutant with an attitude that’ll surely get him killed. The thought makes you sad. After you get him out of there. You’ll find the person who’s really behind this.

A stealth mission is easy for you. you and Dirk are usually assigned with problems that require it. The Skaia Slammer™ has pretty high security though. It’s gonna be difficult to get in. but even harder to get out when you have a raging ball of sound behind you. The file doesn’t say which cell Vantas was placed in, so you’ll have to look yourself or break into more file rooms.

You decide for the latter and fuck around with the lock to some kind of office. After half an hour of searching and hiding on the ceiling when guards come by, you know where Vantas is. Cell H612.

The halls are poorly lit and the fact that you’re wearing shades isn’t helping in the slightest. You try to find your way around but it’s a fucking maze in here. You’re just running circles on the back of a cereal box while tony the tiger looks down at you. at one point you find a wall marked with a big ass H so you figure you’re getting close. there’s a distant light coming this way. Might as well try to get some keys around here. You run towards the light and spot a pair of nubby horns on your way through a door window. Stopping in your tracks, you take a second to confirm. The person is balled up in a corner. Trying to be as small as possible. The messy hair is the same, though. You hear footsteps.

“Psst.” Vantas looks up, startled. He looks like he was just crying. You can faintly see the tear marks on his cheeks. The footsteps become faster.

“What THE FUCK?”

“Christ, keep it down.”

A “Hey!” comes from your right. A firm hand on your shoulder. You end up socking the guy unconscious out of reflex, so you might’ve hurt him more than you meant to. You have keys though.

“Strider what the fuck are you doing here??” karkat whisper-shouts when you start trying all the keys on the chain.

“I’m here for our nightly tea party, what does it look like? I’m busting you out, man.” A click. Nice. Karkat watches from his corner as you open the loudest fucking door in existence. People are going to notice. You need to be quick.

“C’mon let’s go.” You offer your hand. Karkat doesn’t take it.

“…No.”

“No???”

“Yes- I mean. No, I’m not going.”

“Why the fuck not? Prison doesn’t seem like the most comfortable place for you to be.” He opens his mouth, but you interrupt, “Just- let’s do this later, we gotta be fast before anyone sees us.”

“Just go without me, then!” he stands up and start pushing you towards the door. You don’t budge.

“Come on man, I swear I’ll fuckin’ sneak you back in if you can tell me why the fuck you feel like this is your home now, LATER.” You hear footsteps. Far away. You still have a chance, “Please.”

“Strider, I didn’t ask you, or anyone for that matter, to come do some epic prisonbreak for me. You said so your-fucking-self that I could easily break out of prison if I wanted to. But I _don’t_.”

“We can argue about that when we’re outside. At this point I’ll just carry you to the exit.”

“You don’t fucking understand! I can’t go! I can’t even go home if I escaped and I can’t risk any of my friends to get found out because of me. Everyone will be better off with me staying here!”

a voice comes from outside the cell, “What the hell is going on here?!”

“God fucking stubborn ass idiot,” you swear at everyone in your vicinity. You grab Vantas by his wrist and just start running. He lets out a yelp.

“Let the fuck go of me, Strider! Now is not the time to kidnap me as revenge.” There are guards blocking the way from which you came from, so you’ll have to find a detour. Vantas is pulling his arm and slowing you down, so you pull him up and catch him mid-air. You start flying instead.

\---

> Dave: Abscond

Flying in small closed spaces like this is the most dangerous thing any god tier can do, and you’re doing it while there’re two security guards chasing you and you’re carrying a trashing Vantas. This is like holding Jaspers, you think amidst this clusterfuck of an escape. He’s yelling his whole dictionary of insults, probably attracting more guards. Great. You have to find a way to at least get out of the building.

You hear a gun and try to shield Vantas from wherever the noise came from. You just hope they decide to shoot you anywhere that’s not your torso. When you don’t feel any kind of pain after more than a second you dare yourself to look for the reason.

Everything is barely moving around you. you feel your internal clock tell you that time just stopped completely, and that this is your doing. you take a breath and start walking back the way to the exit past the guards, a static Vantas still in your arms. You see the bullet that would have shot you if it weren’t for your time powers, on its way towards a now empty spot. You’ve never slowed anything this much before. This is taking a lot of energy. You have to be quick.

You run the rest of the way and start flying once you’re outside, to somewhere you think is out of the prison’s range for now, before letting go of time. Vantas’ sudden yelling makes you jolt. You set him down and collapse onto the ground, breathing heavily. You feel lightheaded.

“…And I swear to fuck I will- wh- uh.” Vantas stops yelling and start processing his whereabouts. Looking around him and then at you, still trying to get as much oxygen into your lungs as you can.

“What the fuck? Did we teleport or something? Are you okay?” he goes to sit next to you.

“Yup,” You heave, “Fine and fucking dandy.” You have to take a breath every two words. You think you might puke. “J’st, gimme a minute.”

Vantas waits patiently for your breathing to slow down and the nausea to fade. Thank fuck. You don’t think you could put up with his yelling added to the whole thing. God, that was awful.

“…Can you talk?” he asks after a while.

“Yea. I think I’m good now.” You shift your head to look at him. you notice how the moonlight beams off his face. like you’re in a movie or something.

“Okay, first of all. What the fuck did you do? How did we get here?”

“I stopped time and carried you here. It takes a lot outta me, though. I don’t think I’ve had to do it for this long before. I could sleep for a hundred years.”

“Oh…” he looks guilty, “Sorry.”

“hm? What are you sorry for?”

“For making it harder than it had to be. You look like someone straight out of a training montage.”

“Does that mean you’re my coach?”

“Yeah, I’m the guy yelling at you to push those fucking weight bars away from you like your life depends on it, while I’m drinking a milkshake next to you”

“I can smell the chocolate flavour from here.” You both laugh a bit. It’s nice to lighten up the mood, but Vantas’ face went darker again, after.

“I still have to go back, when things settle down maybe.”

“ _I_ still don’t get it. Why did you want to stay so badly?” Vantas looks away.

“Because I deserve it.”

“…No, you don’t?”

“Yes, I do, don’t try to argue about this with me, Strider. I know better than anyone.”

“No! What did you even do that deserved any prison time?” You take out Vantas’ file out of your sylladex and hand it to him, “I went through the file and didn’t see anything I think is actually punishable with prison.”

“Where- Strider do you have any sense of privacy? Did you break into a police station to get this?”

“You’re dodging the question. Point out something you think is worth locking you up for. C’mon.”

He hesitates. There’s fear in his eyes like he’s afraid of what’s inside. He then takes the bundle of papers with a resigned sigh. A grim expression taking over his face as he goes to the very last page of the list. He shows you where he placed his finger.

Karkat vantas, mass murder

27 dead, 98 injured.

Collateral damages: $4130,00

\---

> Dave: think

“…Huh. Okay.” You take a few mental steps back.

“Well? Do you still think I’m a good person? Because if so, I’m going to get you checked for any brain injuries.”

“Dude. Calm down. I…” you don’t know what to say. You always thought of Vantas as the most harmless troll from his whole villain group. What happened that time where 27 people _died_ because of him? there must be more to it.

You stand up and start walking.

“…Where are you going?”  
“To my therapist. Like you said, I must have some kind of brain damage for thinking you’re still a good person, right?”

Karkat runs up to your side, “I don’t think your therapist will talk to you seeing as it’s 5:30 in the morning.”

“Alright,” you start, “I have to admit, I didn’t think that was what you’d show me. But you can’t expect a supervillain to have never killed anyone, right?” you look up at him, “Right?”

You can’t bust him out of prison and change your mind right after. You have to stay calm. “I don’t believe you did that just out of some pure evil force. Tell me what happened that day.”

“No. it’s my turn to question you now.”

“What? Since when are we doing lightning rounds?”

“Since I said so.” He pauses, “Why the fuck did you bust me out of prison?”

“Because I thought you didn’t deserve it? I just told you.”

“But then why would you snitch me to the police?!”

Oh.

You stop walking. “So you think it was me, as well, huh?” It was to be expected. But still, ouch.

“Who else could have done it? You have the motives _and_ you have my address. Are you saying it wasn’t you?”

“Well, yeah. I know you can’t trust me for shit but,” you look him in the eyes as best as you can with the shades, “I wouldn’t fuck you over like that. you’re more of a rival to me than anything right now, Karkat.”

He goes red and doesn’t say anything for a while. You both continue walking when he speaks.

“Okay. I trust you. I know you don’t have the brain to think of something like that anyway.”

“No, dude. My IQ is higher than my whole family combined. I have to explain Rick & Morty to someone who builds robots for a living. I just hate cops as much as the next guy.”

“I thought you worked alongside them?”

“Why do you think I call myself vigilante all the time? maybe you should get _your_ IQ checked man”

“It’s completely logical to assume you’re a filthy bootlicker when you’re a superhero. The two always get mixed up in modern media, nonetheless. “

“I can’t believe you though so low of me, Vantas. An insult worse than anything you can come up with, with that colourful vocabulary of yours.”

He playfully shoves you off the sidewalk, grinning slightly.

“Hey, where are we really going?” he asks.

“My house. I thought you could crash at my place while we sort things out and stuff. Since you can’t really go to yours. I don’t think the police would suspect my family since we’re kind of off the map.”

“Oh. right.” His grin dwindles. You can’t bare the sight of it, to be honest.

“Hey, tell you what.” You bump his shoulder.” You give me a list of shit you want from your apartment and I fly there to pick them up for you.”

“Why would I let you go through my shit?”

“…Beeeeecause you trust me?” he palms his face.

“Sure, whatever. I’ll send it over to you,” he feels where there would normally be a pocket, but he’s still in a prison garment. “You know what, I’ll write It down once we get you your place. The first thing is definitely going to be some fucking clothes.” He shivers. it’s like, 12 degrees outside. A suit like that can’t be much protection. You take off your cape-hood-thingy and offer it you him.

“Thanks,” he thanks, thanking you. what a gentleman you are. He accepts the cape-hood-thingy. It looks ridiculous. You tell him so.

“You’re the one offering it to me. Asshole. Was this your plan all along?”

“Yes. My plan was to bust you out of prison and give you my cape so I can embarrass you in front of the invisible audience.” you point to nowhere in particular. “Are you hearing the laugh track yet? there’s a hidden camera up my ass to film the activity of shit this prank show is producing.”

“That’s just your shit, asshat. Haven’t you taken any biology classes?”

“Nope, I was home-schooled on sword and anime. Ever seen gurren lagann? Because I can recite every single line from the first episode to you.”

“Please don’t.”

You arrive about 2 minutes into your recital. Karkat follows you to the back where he yelps when you try to pick him up.

“Holy shit, I’m going to go deaf one day because of you.”

“Why do you want to carry me so badly all the time, Strider? Am I that irresistible to you?”

“Alright. you can’t fly and I’m not risking you a broken back just to climb into a window. What do you suggest we do?”

“Can’t we just go through the front door?”

“I don’t know if anyone’s in the house right now. If we go through the front door there’s a chance we’ll get psycho-analysed by rose. Or hugged to death by roxy. I love them both but you don’t want to deal with that.”

“Ugh. Fine.” He dramatically T-poses for you to pick him but under his arms.

“How does one even T-pose dramatically? I’m just holding my fucking arms up.”

“huh? Oh. Nevermind.” You shake your head a little and fly him to your window.

“Jesus Christ, this place is a fucking mess.”

“Excuse me, I didn’t exactly prepare for visitors,” you say, turning the lights on.

“You didn’t even plan beforehand where I would stay before you broke me out?”

“Doesn’t matter cuz it worked out in the end, didn’t it?” you hand him a noteblock and a pen, “Write what you want from your place. I’m getting some food downstairs. You must be starving after three days of prison food.”

You get the both of you some heated up noodles and Karkat gives you the list. It takes roughly 20 minutes to get the items and when you enter your room through the window again you notice something about it.

“Why have you been cleaning?”

“Because I can’t stand a messy room and if we’re going to be roomies you better keep it clean.”

“Uhm.” Your bed is made and the clothes that were previously strewn across the room are now in a pile in a corner. “Sure. I’ll try my best. But. Could you like… never do that again?”

Karkat seems to pick up on your uneasiness and his face softens, “Oh. yeah, sorry. I should’ve asked you about it before trying anything. Of course.”

“Thanks.” you don’t think you’ve ever seen someone react to your weirdness in such a sympathetic way. This just confirms that Karkat isn’t a bad guy.

You give him the bag of shit you got for him and he ruffles through it.

“I’m gonna take a shower, you have no idea how disgusting prison can be. Where’s your bathroom?”

“Last door on your right.” As he exits your room you add, “There’s spare toothbrushes in one if the cabinets. Don’t get seen!”

When the door closes you go to fall onto your bed. You have a lot to sort through right now.

So. Apparently, Karkat committed murder at some point. Though he seemed to regret it enormously. You don’t think you could hold it against him, anyhow. He didn’t even want to be bust out of prison, thinking he belonged there. That he deserved it.

You’d become closer since the whole capturing. Daring to step closer into battle and testing out boundaries. You once raced each other to the Skaian Tower, betting on a 20-dollar bill you both found at the same time. you remember Pyrope, the referee, cackling at the top when you got there (Karkat won). You meant when you said he was closer to a rival than an enemy. Maybe edging to a friend if you weren’t in the positions you two are. hm. Isn’t rivalry some kind of romance for trolls? You hope you didn’t just confess to him or something. You mean. If the circumstances were different and he asked you out, you wouldn’t decline, you think…

Oh man, you don’t like where this train of thought is going. Like the universe could read your mind(and has a little sympathy for once, instead), a loud set of footsteps comes into hearing range. You shift your position on your bed so that you’re facing the door, just as Karkat opens it.

“Why the fuck does your shampoo smell like candycane?” he asks. Ruffling his still wet hair.

“That’s Roxy’s. And you better fucking respect the shampoo. Those are like 15 dollars a bottle. ordered All the way from new Prospit.”

“How do you still have a house if you just use your savings on shampoo?”

“Let’s just say, Roxy makes bank.”

Karkat snorts, “Yeah, sure. Anyway, how do you even plan on me staying the night? You want me to sleep on the couch?” he goes to sit on the bed, placing your cape-hood-thing next to him.

“Obviously not. _I’ll_ sleep on the couch. You take my bed. I’ll just pretend to fall asleep during a movie or something. I’m not going to risk anyone going to the living room for a midnight snack and find you having your beauty sleep.” You became pretty paranoid when living with Bro. you couldn’t risk getting seen or heard. And it still makes you nervous when you make any loud sounds. You sit up.

“Are you really okay with that? we don’t know when things will settle, and I can go home.”

“We’ll figure something out for the long run. This’ll have to do for now, because I’m tired as fuck and can’t use my amazing brain to its full capacity.”

“Your brain at full capacity is equivalent to that of an ant,” he quips, pulling you up, “Go and shower, you greasy ant. Get some sleep.”

\---

> Dave: get caught

You expected to be found out eventually. Nobody can hide someone in a house with three other people for long. What you didn’t regard for is how shitting loud Karkat would snore. Of fucking course he would, you feel like an idiot for thinking otherwise. Everyone who slept on the same floor as him told you they couldn’t hear themselves think over the noise. Rose was the first to investigate, you were told.

Unsurprisingly, Rose notified everyone except you, and they all attacked the intruder sleeping in their brother’s bed. Only after hearing him wake up screaming with a katana against his neck did you wake up to tell everyone to calm the fuck down.

“whY THE FUCK IS YOUR HOUSEHOLD LIKE THIS?!” he asked you as you ushered everyone out of the room, promising you’d explain after you got some damn sleep.

“Okay, but. Be honest. You wouldn’t have reacted differently if you saw a random guy sleeping in a house you know isn’t theirs.” You yawn. You don’t think you’ll bother keeping your guard up around Karkat. “You’d have your sickles out in… whatever reaction time trolls have.”

Karkat sighs, deflating all the anger and adrenaline at once, and leaving a slight frown on his face, “Fine. I’m too tired for this and I know for a fucking fact you are too,” he says. Murmuring something along the lines of not being able to “get a single good night’s sleep without being threatened with death” as you wave goodnight and close the door behind you.

You just went directly back to the living room after that. you find rose on the couch with some tea. She looks up with a smirk that says “you’re going to regret humouring me the second I open my mouth”.

“Aren’t you going back to sleep?”

“Was just about to, until a certain flighty broad went to sit on my personal couch.”

“Shouldn’t you just sleep in your own bed? The cat’s out of the bag anyway.”

You sigh a little. Not a full sigh. Just, breathing out more than usual. “look, I know where you’re going with this. I’m not sharing my bed with Karkat. It won’t be like Roxy’s wizard slash, because I have something most maggick characters don’t have: common sense.”

“I though you didn’t want to call the trolls by the first names, dave. What changed?”

you sigh for real this time. the textbook definition of sighing right here. Emitting a long, deep audible breath expressing frustration. A gift from your lungs to the world.

“Rose. I’m tired. Let’s continue this torture in the morning. Or evening, since that’s more likely because it’s-“ you look at the clock (even though you don’t need to because you’re a god of time, but more to let rose know you’re checking the time) to see that it’s, “ 7 in the fucking morning.” God.

Even with all the blinds closed there’s light seeping into the room. Jesus Christ.

“Alright, but-

“Nope. Shut it. Sleepy time.”

\---

> Dave: awaken^2

After waking up at noon you find the room empty. The entire first floor, actually. Looking Into the hall you hear some voices though. Some are soft and some are Karkat.

When you go up to investigate you find that everyone is scattered around your room. Rose and Karkat sitting on your bed, Dirk at your desk and Roxy in your beanbag. When you enter they all turn to look at you.

“uhh-“ you start, before Roxy interrupts.

“Don’t worry. Karkat explained everything just now,” she says.

“What the _fuck_ , Dave.” Dirk accentuates.

“Okay, whatever Karkat told you…it’s not my fault.”

“That’s really the first thing you tell them,” Karkat laughs.

“It’s fine, Dave. I think it’s sweet,” Rose says.

“Just- promise me this doesn’t leave the room. I don’t want the cops on any of us,” you say. Roxy makes a motion of zipping up her lips and then throwing the key away.

“Yeah. Like Roxy just incorrectly gestured, we’ll keep our mouths shut,” dirk says.

Rose pipes up, “Does Kanaya know yet?”

Karkat whirls his head in her direction,

“ _Yet?_ ”

“No,” you say for him, “And we’d like to keep it that way for as long as we need to.” Rose pouts but agrees.

“I guess it would jeopardise her to get involved with this shitfest of a situation,” she reasons.

“That’s a shitfest of an understatement,” Karkat comments.

“Gee thanks,” you reply, plopping on your bed on Karkat’s other side, “But we kind of need to plan out what the hell Karkat’s gonna do now. I’m sure he doesn’t want to deal with you guys any longer than he has to. So, shoo.”

“Why can’t we help?” Roxy asks, “I’m sure I can hack some rich guy’s bank account for a temporary apartment or sumthin’.”

“ _That’s_ how you make money?” Karkat asks in disbelief.

“that, and Rose works at the library.”

“Who gives a shit how we’re making ends meet, I need you all to go mind your own business and go make lunch or something. I’ll come down in a minute, alright?”

“But-“

“It’s not your problem to deal with. I don’t want to burden you with it.”

Roxy sighs, “Alright… just promise to tell us if you can’t handle something. Any friend of yours is a friend of mine, and I won’t let anything bad happen to my friends!!!”

“Yeah, I promise. Thank, Rox.”

When the door closes you put your head in your hands and groan.

“Sorry, Karkat. they’re just always like this.”

“It’s okay. I think they’re nice enough for people who are supposed to be putting me back in prison.”

“That… may have been because I told them about you before.”

“What do you mean? It didn’t look like they knew about me last night.”

“That’s what she said, and, no, not like that.” you go to sit against the wall as Karkat follows. “I mean, you’re my nemesis or whatever, and Rose keeps talking about Maryam, so I kind of rant about you too, sometimes. Don’t you guys do that when you’re hanging out?”

“No,” he says with a face that says ’yes, but it’s still not acceptable’, “What do you even talk about? Just things you hate about us?”

“No, just like. What you did that day, or how we’re going to plan out the next fight. Or even whether we should keep fighting you guys. Maybe we should just try to talk it out like some sappy kid’s movie. Neither you or Maryam has ever done anything wrong to society to our knowlegde.” You almost add, “Though I guess I can’t say the same for you anymore,” but think better of it.

“Oh… but-” Karkat thinks for a moment, “It’s not like I don’t enjoy sparring with you either.” You look at him. you didn’t think you’d hear that from him, considering you keep beating him. Karkat continues, though. “Even though you keep kicking my ass, which sucks shame globes, by the way. But don’t think I haven’t noticed that you never give it your all. You sometimes let me off with such minimal injuries I could’ve just gone through with whatever asinine plan I had the moment you took your glue-shut ass to some other crime scene.” You didn’t think he’d notice since he has never called you out on it during battle.

“Yeah, see? I don’t even give it my all. I could probably kick your ass with two thumbs up my mine, but I just never thought you deserved it.”

“I guess you must’ve changed your mind since, huh?” he looks at you with sadness overtaking any exhaustion he usually has on his face.

“Dude, of course not. I know I can’t change your mind but trust me on this one. You’re fine in my book. I killed people too, y’know?”

“Yeah? Name one.” He doesn’t seem to believe you even though he knows what you’re capable of.

“My Bro,” you deadpan.

“Shit, right. But that doesn’t count. You said it was an accident”

“Are we really putting rules on this pissing contest? I don’t remember the name of every person I maim. Let’s just agree to disagree and continue this over breakfast.”

“Fuck yes, I’m starving.”

\---

> Dave: breakfast

It doesn’t look like everyone’s all that hung up about Karkat being here. When you entered the living room there was enough coffee for the both of you and everyone gave him a warm welcome and an apology for almost slicing his neck. You bake some eggs and bring them to the couch where Karkat’s fixated on the tv. Karkat looks intently even though he looks like he hadn’t slept for a minute last night. On tv, someone in a police uniform is being interviewed,

“…entire northern wing of the building has been quarantined. No one is to go in or out, including guards. We are doing background checks for every employee working here and we’re doing everything in our power to find the escaped prisoner.”

“…Shit.” Karkat says.

“I didn’t think the media would be so quick. Do they have any clues about where you are? do they have suspects?”

“They have security footage of shadows but it’s too dark to make out it’s you, I think. They think it’s the janitor.” You snort. Poor guy. “As for my whereabouts, they know we took the northern exit so they’re hunting me down around that area.”

“We should avoid going there then,” you think out loud, “Guess I can’t take you to Olive Garden after all.” That’s the saddest sentence that’s come out of your mouth since “what are Dorito’s”.

You take your attention to the screen again when you see a familiar face. the seer of mind is yelling something to a crowd of journalists.

“-No, I will not take any fucking questions. What did you expect anyway? Any villain would escape from those ruins you call a prison. Fucking- no, none of us were involved we already told you, we don’t know where the rest of the Underground Alternia is. We didn’t know he was involved ourself! All your microphones smell like burned toast.”

Pyrope faces the screen like she has perfect eyesight and stares into the camera’s soul.

“Karkat, if you’re watching this, I’m going to wear your lungs as socks if I see you again.”

Karkat snorts at the comment but his face isn’t any brighter. You put a hand on his shoulder,

“We’ll figure it out. You’ll get to see them again.” You hand him his eggs.

“Thanks,” he says, taking the plate.

When the news changes to a different story you change the channel to a more lighthearted one and just eat your breakfast in silence. Rose and Roxy are talking about wizard shit and Dirk went back to his little lab in the garage. It’s quite peaceful for a moment where you can appreciate it. You glance at karkat, who hasn’t touched his food yet.

Not so starving anymore?” he snaps out of whatever deep thought he was in to answer,

“Yeah, sorry. I just lost my appetite after seeing Terezi…” you keep eating.

“What’s on your mind, bro? Don’t worry, your dirty secrets are safe with me,” you say with your mouth stuffed with way too salty egg.

“Phrasing it like that isn’t going to make me spill out my darkest secrets to you. besides… you already know.” He looks away, clutching the fork. Didn’t think he’d be so hung up about this. You swallow the way too salty eggs. Forcing your tone into a more serious one,

“I know this won’t really help but, I shouldn’t have pushed you into telling me. Sorry about that.”

“No, no, it’s okay, Dave. It’s just-I know, that you had to find out at some point. I mean, you deserve knowing what I did, I think. But you were one of the few people I could talk to without you knowing I’m a fucking monster. And now you know. Partly, at least.”

“You’re not-“

“Don’t,” he interrupts, “We agreed to disagree, remember?”

You nod. “So, are you saying the only reason we talk during fights is because I didn’t know about your dark past?”

“No- I’m not- That’s not what I fucking- “he stutters. then sighs, annoyed, “You’re impossible.”

“Yeah but I’m _your_ impossible.”

The snort he makes at that joke lightens up whatever dark mood he was in previously. You banter through the tv’s background noise until both of your plates are empty.

\---

> Dave: scheme

“Okay.” You begin, “Now that our stomachs have been filled with salt, eggs and sleep, we need to have a plan on how to keep you out of the hands of the police.” You slap your baton onto the piece of paper taped to the wall.

“We’ll call this “operation cat no pigs”.” The title is written in bright red letters on the paper

“That’s an awful name.”

“Thanks,” you say ripping the paper off the wall to throw(and miss) it into the garbage bin and sit next to him, “What do you propose we do?”

“Is it not apparent from my face that I have not a single shit-darting clue what I should do?

“C’mon ‘kat. Brainstorm with me.” You put your fingers on his temples to project your positive aura onto him, making some machine noises. He pushes them away,

“It doesn’t matter what we try. As long as they know I’m alive they’ll be on the look for me. I won’t be able to go outside without plastic surgery, and the media already knows all of my personal details including my fucking social security number.”

He really thinks it’s hopeless. And with that kind of reasoning you don’t blame him. You change the tone of your voice to a more serious one,

“Yeah, Karkat. This is a shit situation you are in right now, I don’t deny that. but you’re not in it alone. You have me, who accepted being involved the second I entered the prison building to bust you out, and the rest of my family, apparently, who, and trust me on this, will go through hell and back to make sure you’re okay. And you’re gonna be. eventually. We’re going to figure this out. We’re going to figure it out so bad it will be the next science thing. It’ll be taught in schools. Chapter 6: how Karkat and Dave figured it out. All of it. It’ll take up the whole book because of how much we figured it out and then the students have to figure it out as well. They’ll be forced to write essays on this shit, I’m telling you. we’re doing this, bro.”

Karkat doesn’t look convinced in the slightest but still. He smiles and finishes for you, “We’re making it happen?”

You almost kiss him on the cheek from how delighted you are to hear that. you don’t obviously. That’d be weird. Instead you jump up and pump your fist in the air, which is even more out of character for you, but you don’t really care since it’s just Karkat in the Room.

“Yeah! Let’s see if the others have any ideas.”

When you get back to the living room it’s only Roxy left sitting behind the kitchen bar. She looks up from her phone when you enter,

“Hey, you back from your honeymoon?”

“What?” Karkat asks.

“Yes, and we were wondering if you had any ideas on the catVScop situation.” You say.

“That’s not a better name,” karkat says.

Roxy lights up a bit, “Of course! What do you need, exactly?”

“Just an idea, anything is game at this point.”

She thinks it over for a moment before suggesting, “Why don’t I hack into the online police archives and delete anything related to Karkat?”

“Really?!” Karkat shouts louder than usual, “You’d do that for me?”

“Yeah, dude! It’ll be a piece of cake anyway. Lemme get my laptop.” She goes upstairs, leaving Karkat in disbelieve.

“She didn’t lie when she said it’s easy. She usually does a lot more advanced stuff than pressing Ctrl+F and deleting what’s there.”

“Yeah, but isn’t it dangerous? What if she gets caught? She’ll be associated with me,” he reasons.

“First of all, how dare you think there’s even a chance she’d get caught,” you start to say, but Roxy interrupts,

“I’m back,” she says, carrying a laptop brighter than Prospit and pinker than Barbie herself. She turns it on, oblivious to, or completely ignoring Karkat’s visible anxiety. You both breath down her neck watching her opening whatever hacking program she has and doing whatever hackers do when they’re hacking.

“I’m in,” she says with a low voice, imitating the meme. You can see Karkat starting to sweat.

The whole process was quicker than you thought. She really really does just press Delete after selecting the little icon with his name next to it, and claps her hands together, yelling, “Done!”. She wraps things up before closing the thing and gets a relieved sigh from karkat.

“See? Roxy’s better than the FBI and CIA combined,” you tell him contently.

“Augh, fine you’re right. Sorry I doubted you, Roxy,” he says, turning to Roxy.

“You doubted me?” she asks.

“No..! He was just worried that if you got caught you’d also be on the police’s radar.”

“Aw, that’s sweet, but worry about yourself first, since you already are on the radar.”

“Yeah, Karkat’s not a bad guy, right?” you turn to the troll in question who has his head lowered. “he says yes, thanks, Rox.”

“Always!”

\---

> Dave: go find some baddies to beat

You have a shift tonight, so you can’t really have a sleepover, but you have a pretty solid plan by the time you have to leave:

1: Wait for the public to forget about Karkat and move on to more important things like oh I don’t know, poverty?

2: Try to get a hold of Karkat’s apartment with more of Roxy’s Haxxor skillz and try to come in contact with Karkat’s friends.

3: Maybe get a fake ID (Karkat’s idea)

4: Find out who really snitched Karkat out and clear your name (your idea)

Okay, so it’s not the best plan and maybe you spend the day playing Portal 2 with Karkat but it’s something. Mostly waiting. You don’t have a problem with that, but you have a feeling Karkat does. You feel bad for the guy.

You see some dude on your way to your part of town doing some sketchy shit in an alley and tie him to a garbage container along with the fake drugs he was selling. You also meet Jade while stopping to pet a cat. She’s doing good, she tells you. though she noticed the Rogue of Heart was acting off. Knowing about the incident with your nemesis, she asks about you. you lie, saying you don’t know what’s happening. If she knew she’d definitely try to help and neither you nor Karkat want more people involved.

When you get to your zone (northeaster side of new Can Town) and start patrolling it’s actually not that busy. Not that that’s bad but you’re getting bored. You consider pestering Karkat, but you realize you don’t have his contact info. You but in the back of your mind to ask him that when you get back.

An explosion in the distance catches you off guard and you fall off the building you were standing on. You start flying towards the source of the smoke.

When you get there it’s the Mage of Doom. Sollux Captor, you remember. He’s fighting someone in the distance. Someone must have come here before you. He hasn’t seen you yet, so you go to see who he’s fighting. When they get in sight it’s surprising to see none of your friends, but a seadweller. That’s the Prince of Hope, you think, though you don’t know his name. why are they fighting their own allies? You hang back, contemplating on what to do when you see some pedestrians coming to see what the storm is about. The prince of hope shoots his weird blue rifle but misses completely, The blue fucking laser heading towards the amblers. You slow down time to get everyone in blast radius to safety. When you put the last of them a few blocks down and let time go its way again you notice the seadweller scorning at you.

“Looks like we’ve got company,” he says, aiming his rifle towards you. the Mage of Doom sneers,

“You better stay out of this, Knight. This is none of your business.” You start flying back toward them, the violetblood on a tall building and the mustardblood levitating with his spiionics.

“It is when there are innocent people involved,” you say. “Take your little tussle somewhere less inhabited.”

“Like you get to tell us what to do, after what you did to kar,” the Prince of Hope says, revulsion seeping off his words.

Ah. You’d forgotten all about that. Should you try to convince them it wasn’t you? you’re thinking it’s probably not worth the effort since you don’t know these dudes, but not saying anything will make them think you’re confessing.

“It wasn’t me who did that.”

“Keep your lies back at your little gang of heroes.” The seadweller says.

“Shut the fuck up, Ampora,” Captor says, half sighing, “You’re not cool by trying every one-liner you wrote in your soggy diary.”

The seadweller, or Ampora, growls,

“Can you not black-flirt with me for one minute? We have to take care of this first or we’ll get in trouble.”

Captor ‘tchs. “I can take care of this nutbrain easily enough if you wouldn’t distract me.”

This is getting uncomfortable.

“I know I said it was my business but honestly, I take it back if this is what you’re doing. just go to the fucking football field downtown and do your bitchfight there,” you say.

The two trolls react with varying amounts of rage at the same time and blast their rifle/eye lasers at you. you dodge and lunge for Ampora. You heard seadwellers are strong as fuck so you think you should take out this guy first. You flashsstep(flashfly?) to him and kick the weapon from his hand before he can even register you. you pull up your fist to punch his pretty fish face but somethings wrong. You look up at the fist that won’t obey your brain and just move. There’s a blue and red glow around it and a pang of anxiety shoots up your chest. You should’ve gone for the goldblood, you thought to yourself later that night.

\---

>Dave: don’t die

You wonder why you aren’t dead yet. you probably could’ve been ripped from limb to limb with Captors telekinesis. You think you heard Ampora tell him to keep you alive or Karkat “will have your spiky head when he comes back. _If_ he comes back.”

Captor started with just your fist, but then took your entire body under his control (that’s what she said). you felt a force worse than the green sun’s (wait..green sun’s) mass on every one of your cells and began feeling lightheaded, Every muscle being stretched further than they should be capable of. Eventually he just threw you towards an apartment building and you just went right through the wall. There was no one in the room whose wall you destroyed so you should count yourself lucky enough.

You pity the person who’s this guy’s nemesis. You haven’t heard anyone talk about the guy other than that he’s more of a ‘behind the scenes cybercrime’ dude, so maybe he doesn’t go out that often. When you get yourself out of the rubble back into the air, they’re gone.

The rest of your shift is uneventful. You’re still able to move so you don’t go back home until it’s over. you still managed to help some people, at least. Some burglar almost shot you because you were too sore to flashsstep, but whatever. Walking people home is always an option. Being a teenager too short for his age with tacky pyjamas and a cape isn’t the most threatening thing to encounter in the middle of the night. Especially when you’re being followed and said teenager just kicked the stalker in the guts.

\---

> Karkat: wait

This is stupid. This entire situation is stupid. You can’t believe you got caught by the police, only to be bust out by you arch-fucking-nemesis slash kind of crush. And you slept in his bed. And he made you breakfast. And he’s doing everything in his power to keep you from being thrown in prison again. He told you he considers you a rival...! You know humans have a different meaning to it but what the fuck!!!! He doesn’t know you find him more attractive than troll Chris Hemsworth of that you noticed when he tries so hard to be gentle when you felt down today, or how you can distinguish his ironic chuckle from actual laughing- It’s unbearable, being with him in such a casual way, and still having that playful banter and occasional shoving, knowing you’re supposed to try to kill each other. You were alright when you felt such loathing for him the first time. maybe you won’t be a fucked up selfish mutant who can’t keep it in his quadrants, you thought. But _nooooooo_ the moment he stops being an absolute asshat and a decent being you just _have_ to flip red for him, god fucking damn it. Now you’re just sitting in his room, waiting for him to come back from his shift (which is apparently a thing vigilante heroes do). You tried playing some of his videogames, but you just can’t stop thinking about where you are and why this happened. Did the horror terrors curse or bless you? a knock on the door snaps you out of your thoughts.

When you answer it, it’s Rose Lalonde in the doorway. The Rose Kanaya keeps gabbing about. And the Rose who suggested telling Kanaya about you, though Strider did talk some sense into her. You still don’t want to trust her too much.

“What is it?” you ask, grouchy but innocently enough.

“Can’t a worried sister not just check up on the new member of the family once in a while?”

“No.” you close the door, but she blocks it with her foot.

“I’m just worried, Karkat, about-“

“Hey only Strider gets to call me by my first name,” you say and regret as you’re saying it.

“…Interesting, but sure, mister Vantas. I was hoping you would let me in and ask you a few questions, she says through the door gap. She hastily adds, “nothing regarding your supervillain alliance, to be clear. Just about what happened when you got arrested, and how you got out. Maybe some about your emotional wellbeing. As a bonus.”

“…Why the hell do you want to know that?” you open the door to get a better look at her face, but she’d just as aloof with her facial expressions as Strider, except she doesn’t even need the shades.

“To plan out what one might do, on the slim chance it happens to anyone else. I’ll gladly share whatever I might think up with you, so that you may share it with your friends when you speak with them again.”

She makes a good point. Now that you’re on the radar, everyone you’re associated with is at risk too. You became well aware of that, the moment they cuffed you.

“…Fine.” You let her in and go to sit in the beanbag next to where rose sits at Strider’s desk.

“First I’d like to ask you to elaborate on why you insist that only Dave calls you by your first, name.”

You were hoping she’d have pity on you and forget you sad that.

“That has fuckall to do with jack shit,” you say, dodging the question. You have the subtlety of a hogbeast. Please take a hint, you plead in your mind. To your relief, she does.

“That’s fair. How about you just describe where it all began?”

Welp. Time for you to monologue the shit out of her. You take a breath,

“It was last week when my door got knocked on. Behind the door was an entire fucking troop of cops just quivering to beat the bugwinged shit out of me. I don’t even know how so many people could fit inside that tiny hallway.”

“Were there trolls present?”

“Yeah, a few lowbloods. bootlickers probably. There was this one burgundyblood that I had the most horrified look on their face as they pushed me to the ground. I didn’t even have time to react. They didn’t even question if they had the right guy. I mean, they did, but what if they stormed my neighbour’s apartment? Anyway, so they just stormed in with all their troops and tackled me to the floor. Obviously I struggled but thirty-so cops were not fucking needed. They took me to a police station for a bunch of paperwork, all while there were at least two guards making sure I didn’t escape or deck the person interrogating me.”

“What did you think about that?”

“What?”

“Wid you think the guards were necessary?”

“Well-“ you pause. You guess not. But with your past, you don’t blame them for taking the precautions. “Yeah, I guess. But not in a ‘I could kick your asses if it weren’t for these muscled guards holding me back’ kinda way, but more in a ‘I can’t blame you for being scared but I’m not going to try anything’ way, I guess.”

“How come you don’t blame them for being scared?”

“Nope. Not answering that. I know a bait question when I see one. Or hear one. I wasn’t done, by the way.” She nods for you to continue.

“They tried interrogating me, but they’re human government so torture is prohibited. Just laughable. They didn’t get anything out of me.

so, they took me to their prison, with way too much force, mind you. I was literally doing everything they asked, and they still tried to dislocate my shoulder when guiding me to my cell.” Now you’re done. You just wanted to complain, you guess. But it’s justified since none of those guards knew what you did other that ‘he’s a pretty famous supervillain’. You wonder if it was because of your mutant blood. They had to ask for your blood colour and when you answered They all looked at you with wide eyes, some even with sympathy.

“What was it like in the short period you spend in prison?”

“Fucking terrifying. I’m already the shorted of all my friends, combine that with me being a mu- uh a known villain, I wasn’t exactly anyone’s favourite. I was cullbait and just a stepping stone for inmates to get higher ranked in their prison gangs if they killed me.”

“How does that make you feel?”

“Quit it, Lalonde. I didn’t agree to a therapy session.”

“Fine,” she pouts. “how did you avoid getting culled?”

“There were lots of cameras around, I just had to stay in sight of them. No one dared to do anything illegal when they’re being monitored. It was a coward move though.”

“Yes, but smart.” The Seer of Light taps her chin with the purple pen, deep in thought. “Perhaps we could develop an emergency system of some sorts.”

“Like, a phone call?”

“No, something less casual. Besides, you couldn’t really dial anyone when getting tackled by cops. We need something that’s only a button away and indicates that you don’t just want to tell me about the fifty ways you can dip nachos in sauce.”

“Maybe you can put a GPS system in it,” you offer.

“Yes, maybe, if everyone’s on board with that. what about when Dave busted you out? Were there any big obstacles?”

“Honestly, I have no clue. Dave just fucking showed up in front of my cell in the middle of the night, beat a guard unconscious and took their keys. A few more guards came and they began shooting and suddenly I was half a mile away from the prison grounds. Apparently he stopped time and just carried me out.”

Lalonde gives you a look of confusion upon hearing that sentence,

“Stopped? Are you sure? Dave has never been able to _stop_ time completely before.”

“That’s what he told me. He just fuckin collapsed right after. Looked like he had to run a marathon against a meowbeast.”

“Makes, sense,” she nods, “It must have taken a lot out of him. you better be grateful, Mr, Vantas. Dave put a lot of effort into saving you.”

You turn red. Shit, you can’t let her see your blood colour. But she’s right. Why did Strider do that? It’s not like you’ve ever shown _him_ any compassion.

“Well, I never asked him to. It was just a reckless move on his part.” You cross your arms and look away. You never noticed how interesting floors can be. you wonder it this floor was expensive. Does it have floor heating? That sure would be fancy.

Lalonde seems satisfied with the answer you gave her. She makes her leave with a “I’ll let you know if I find any solutions to your situation” and closes the door, leaving you once again alone with your own thoughts.

\---

>Dave: kick Kirby’s ass

“Augh, fuck you!” Karkat throws himself backwards as Kirby gets thrown into the void by Peach’s bitch slap. 

“I told you Kirby is objectively the worst smash character.”

“Fuck no, that medal goes to Pichu.”

“So, you agree that anything friend shaped is unfit for a fighting game?”

“I would have beaten your flowery ass if you hadn’t grabbed that assist trophy. We should play without items, see how you like it then.“

It’s hard to notice but the tone of his voice indicates that he’s kind of fed up with losing. You’ve been playing a few rounds of smash bros and you’ve won every time.

“I have a better idea. How about we play Mario kart instead? We can be on the same team?”

“Yeah, fine, sure.” He shoots you a subtle grateful glance.

Turns out Karkat is really good at Mario Kart. You actually suck at it. it’s why you’ve played it once and never touched it again. The only other times you play are when any of the Harleyberts insist on playing it during game nights.

You end up third which, in your eyes, is a win. Karkat is first and unlocks a bunch of maps and car parts of whatever they’re called.

You’ve been hanging out with him like this for the past week. A routine had settled where you wake up and eat breakfast with everyone and just do everything you normally do except Karkat’s there. You have to leave him at home sometimes when you leave for work or school. as surprising as it may seem, you actually do go to school. the very same Skaia Academy that rose attends. It’s not full time but you study paleontology after roxy talked you into it. You kind of want to take Karkat with you to a lecture just to see his reaction. Actually, is Karkat doing anything academically?

“Hey, do you study anything?” you ask him as he chooses which cup to play.

“That’s a pretty out of nowhere question.”

“Yeah, I was thinking about how I could sneak you into one of my lectures.”

“You think I give enough shits about dead shit to go with you to listen to some old fuck talk about what he’s going to be in five years?”

“Not necessarily. You’d be surprised at how many milfs are in this field. Anyway, you haven’t answered the question.”

“I don’t study anything. Well, not anymore at least.”

A/N: corckerenglishes aren’t a thing cuz It’s a pain in the ass to write

\---

>Dave: Freak out (internally)

You guess that would be an appropriate course of action for this situation. However, you are Dave Strider and freaking out is not in your dictionary. Not even the internal version of it. You are cool and only cool. Ice cold, even. You could freeze the room with your coolness. Anyone want a Davecicle? Cause that’s what your made of. Wait, that sounded weird. The point is you’re so cool you give any problem a normal person would freak out over the cold shoulder. Shoving those emotions to the back of the freezer that is your brain.

This was not as easy as you made it sound. For the next week that Karkat stayed with you, you kept noticing the little things he does. The way he sneezes (cute as fuck, apparently) and how he holds a pencil (the only right way, he insisted), How you catch him glancing or staring at you behind your shades and how he fucking _purrs_ when he feels safe(how did you never know trolls purr?). you notice when his expression softens and his voice becomes gentle, or when he keeps telling you to eat healthier and sit in less spine-fuckable positions when watching a movie.

Right. The movie. That’s a thing that happened.

Roxy wanted to hold a movie night in honour of our special guest (her words, not yours) so you all bundled up on the couch with everyone choosing a movie. It was obvious to put up Karkat’s movie first, but none of you had actually seen a troll movie and thus were woefully ignorant of the length of a troll movie. Needless to say, none of the other movies had been put up, because somewhere 4 hours into the movie Rose gracefully told everyone that she still goes to school and has classes tomorrow, so she had to leave for bed.

“Why do any of you need an education when Roxy could take enough money from some billionaire to last you all for life?” Karkat asked.

“Some people study for enrichment. Psychology is to Rose like a plastic bag is to a cat,” You said.

“Also, if we take too much at once the people we steal from are gonna notice I think,” Roxy added.

2 hours after that Roxy gave in as well. It was 3 am by that time so that’s basically when the last sane people go to bed. Dirk isn’t sane though. And Karkat is nocturnal. You just stay to save Karkat from the awkwardness of being alone with dirk.

Another half-hour into the movie, Dirk apparently sees that he’s got a deadline coming up and panics to his room, leaving only the two of you on the couch.

“Maybe we should get some sleep as well,” you said. you had completely lost interest in the movie at that point. you don’t even know what it’s about anymore.

“Wait, the next part is really good,” Karkat said. he was still absorbed in the movie. He must really like rom coms, you thought.

You didn’t know when you started dwindling into sleep city, but when you woke up, you head was in Karkat’s lap and you felt a hand on your shoulder. You don’t know what to think of it, but it had never occurred to you how comfortable Karkat’s lap can be. Also, this had been your bed for the last week so you weren’t getting up. You were too tired to give a shit. And too tired to repress any stupid feeling. Those stomach butterflies you’d been shoving to the back of the freezer were crawling out like a science experiment and you couldn’t do anything except watch as it happened behind a glass wall they’re bound to break through as well to eat you alive. There were some credits rolling but they were in English, so you guessed Karkat kept watching movies after that troll movie ended.

“You awake?” Karkat asked quietly. You shot up from his lap into a sitting position half a foot away from him. you hated that you missed the warmth.

“Yup, yea, I’m awake. good morning. what’s up?”

Karkat snorts like he’s trying to cover up the awkwardness that just exploded into the room. “Good morning, I guess. That sounds fucking weird to say.”

“Did you sleep like, at all?”

“I did fall asleep halfway through the lame human movie that was in the queue. Um. Did. You sleep?”

“Yeah man, like a fucking pickle. Wait that’s not right, shit.”

You both laughed the most nervous laugh ever.

You both gladly agreed not to bring it up ever again.

A/N: obligatory vriskagram davekat scene

\---

> Karkat: complain

Dave decided you needed some fresh air. You thought there’s enough fresh air in the backyard, but Dave’s standards are too high for such low-quality air. Apparently, the neighbours smoke.

So, Dave took you with him on his next shift. No need to explain how ironic that is. Take your nemesis to work day should be a national holiday, Dave told you on the way to the area he’s patrolling. He made you wear a fake moustache and his old hero suit as a disguise. You know it’s partly to mess with you.

Turns out, patrol work is boring as shit. The way the night looks makes you glad you chose the dark side purely because it’s more fun. Walking old people home? Dave’s job is the vigilante equivalent of ticketing cars. You just spend the next half hour complaining about his job using different absurd metaphors until something not so boring happens. Though you would’ve preferred boring, looking back.

As you walk down a shopping district you notice a shadow on a building. it hasn’t seemed to notice you though.

“Dave, look,” you whisper. Dave follows the direction of your finger,

“Shit,” he says, “it’s john. Look at that huge fuckin’ windsock.”

The figure turns to you and starts waving. You gotta think of a reason for you to be here.

You take out your sickles and swing one at Dave who instinctively decaptchalogues and blocks with a shitty sword.

“What the fuck? Karkat, what the hell are you doing?” he says, holding your sickle just inches from his face.

“Just play along,” you say.

A higher, upbeat voice speaks up,

“Hi, Dave! And… Karkat Vantas?” the disguise isn’t helping in the slightest. “What’s with the moustache?”

“Stay out of this, Egbert,” you say after jumping back a few feet away from Dave, keeping a fighting stance.

“Holy shit! You’re the one that escaped from the slammer! Dave do you need any help with this?”

“Don’t worry bro. I’ve got this.” He cracks his knuckles. _Oh, how intimidating._

Dave lunges at you and you dodge the sword by a hair and the moustache falls off. You spar for a bit, completely ignoring Egbert standing there, probably waiting for Dave to finish you off so they can chat or something. He doesn’t though. And you see john getting awkward.

“Heh, well it looks like you’ve got your hands full. I should probably get going as well if you don’t need any help. It was nice to see you, Dave!” he starts flying as Dave waves back. he’s blocking your sickle with one hand like it’s no big deal.

“Same here, later, dude,” he says with the smuggest face he can make with shades covering half of his face. is he challenging you? oh my god he’s checking his nails. Yeah, he definitely is. You push your sickle harder into the sword. You’re determined to show him how strong you can be with a sharp boomerang on a stick. You swing your sickle and continue blocking, dodging and attacking for a bit. Eventually Dave pauses.

He jumps back, still wearing that grin,

“He’s gone, don’t worry. We don’t have to keep fighting.”

“Well, I haven’t practiced in a pretty long time. Maybe this is the perfect opportunity to practice a bit, so I don’t become rusty.”

“Well, I don’t mind humouring you for a bit.” He jumps at you, sword held high.

“Already missing a sparring partner?”

You swipe at the blade as it comes down, changing its trajectory to the pavement

“I do miss kicking some ass every now and then”

The sword hits the ground. His face is inches from yours. You’re breathing heavily.

“More like kissing some ass.” You say quieter, since he wouldn’t have trouble hearing you when he is so close. Holy shit he’s close. his grin turns into a genuine smile. Even though you can’t see through the glasses, you feel like he’s looking you in the eyes so intensely, you would feel uncomfortable were it someone else. But this is Dave. And you really like him. For a moment you don’t give a single fuck about your quadrant confusion. You wish you could see more of this side of him. hanging out with him for the past week has been the most fun you’ve had in a long time. you wonder what he’s thinking, since you’re both just looking at each other now. His smile has faded a little, like he’s thinking. He leans closer. You let him take your waist with the hand that’s not on his sword and you never want him to let go. You start closing your eyes, cupping his face-

“Hey Dave, I forgot to tell you,” Egbert’s voice fills the silence from before. You both jump two feet back out of instinct and necessity. Dave turns about to face him.

“Oh! you’re still fighting Vantas. I thought you would have scared him off by now,” he says so cheerfully and oblivious to whatever was happening, “anyway, Jake wanted me to give to his thanks! For supporting him in that fight with the Heir of Void.”

“Oh, uh. Well, give him my regards. It was no problem,” Dave says. They say their goodbyes and john departs once again.

You walk back up to him once John’s out of sight, “He came back all the way to say _that_?”

“Yeah, john’s like that. it’s what makes him likable.” He‘s not looking at you. “My shift’s almost over, let’s go home,” he says. You both captchalogue your weapons and head for home, never addressing whatever it was that happened tonight. You don’t know whether to be grateful or annoyed about that.

\---

>Dave: freak out (for real)

HolyshitHolyshitHolyshitHolyshitHolyshitHolyshit

Fuck.

Okay.

Well, that sure happened. There’s no denying it anymore. You’ve got it bad for Karkat. Whatever happened tonight just confirmed it. You don’t think you ever wanted to kiss someone so bad and fear kissing someone at the same time. when he looked into your damn soul through the shades you just- akdjhglgjdkgskjhkd

You throw the blanket over your head even though you’re burning up. you and Karkat both headed for bed the moment you got home.

You have to keep yourself in line. Karkat likes someone already, he told you. if you made any move on him, you’d just ruin what delicate friendship you’ve got going on. Besides, if he doesn’t reciprocate your feelings it’s just going to be awkward as fuck the entire time he’s staying over. you can’t do that to him. You just have to keep repressing every single thing you feel for him. At least until he can get back to his own home.

\---

>Karkat: be bored out of your mind

Dave has a day shift again today, which is why you’re unlocking all his cups in Mario kart. As you’re cursing out bowser jr. for throwing that blue shell, you get a trollian notification (Strider 2.0 gave you an old encrypted phone to use) from Dave.

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist2 [CG]** **\--**

**TG: whats up im bored as fuck**

**CG: AREN’T YOU SUPPOSD TO BE ON PATROL?**

**TG: i am**

**TG: thats why im talking to you**

**TG: you know how fucking boring patrol work is youve been there**

**CG: FAIR POINT.**

**CG: BUT IF ANY OLD HUMANS DIE OF UNNECESSARY CAUSES, IT’S NOT GONNA BE MY FAULT, HOW NICE OF A GESTURE I WOULD FIND THAT.**

**TG: still cant believe your typing quirk is just turning on caps lock thats the most in character thing for you to do**

**CG: IT’S A PAIN IN THE ASS TO PUT ANY MORE EFFORT INTO BEING UNIQUE. ESPECIALLY SINCE THAT’S THE VERY THING I GET VILIFIED FOR.**

**TG: yeah but just putting your text in all caps just puts emphasis on the fact that you cant keep your voice under 90 decibel**

**CG: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT IM GOING FOR.**

**CG: I WON’T BE SATISFIED UNTIL EVERY PUNY HUMAN IN SKAIA CITY KNOWS I’M BETTER THAN THEM.**

**CG: THEY’LL FINALLY RECOGNIZE ME AS THEIR JUST LEADER AND GIVE ME A NICE THRONE AND SHIT. I’LL BE FED ORB FRUITS AND GIVEN A PERSONAL JESTER TO DO LITTLE STUPID DANCES FOR ME.**

**TG: can i be the jester**

**CG: SURE, SINCE YOU’RE PRETTY MUCH THE ENTIRE FUCKING CIRCUS WITH YOUR STUPIDITY.**

**CG: BUT SINCE YOU’RE A KNIGHT OF TIME AND NOT A BARD OF STUPE, I WOULD’VE THOUGHT YOU’D WANT TO BE MY KNIGHT IN SHINING TACKY PJ’S.**

**TG: i can assure you, youll be even better protected from the other imaginary kingdoms with me as the royal jester.**

**TG: ill assassinate the spies when they let their guard down, thinking im just a clown.**

**TG: granted I get to keep the corpses**

**CG: THAT’S FUCKED UP. DON’T GET GAUGHT.**

**TG: speak for yourself mister “i deserve to be in prison”**

**CG: I’LL ORDER MY GUARDS TO TAKE YOU TO THE GIANT MEOWBEASTS IF YOU KEEP SPEAKING TO YOUR KING THAT WAY.**

**TG: oh my greatest apologies my great your majesty it was purely my bully instinct to pick on any nerd i catch in my view.**

**CG: THAT’S IT. TIE HIM ONTO THE STAKE, BOYS.**

**TG: whos the boys**

**CG: SOLLUX AND ERIDAN, MY TWO LEFT WALKSTUMPS.**

**TG: ah the psychic and genocidal maniac**

**CG: YOU KNOW THEM?**

**TG: yeah I actually saw them the other day**

**CG: WAIT IS**

**CG: THAT’S WHY YOU WERE SO BEATEN UP THE OTHER DAY?**

**TG: yeah actually**

**TG: i didnt think you noticed**

**CG: I DID. I JUST DIDN’T WANT TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE BY BRINGING IT UP.**

**TG: aw best bro lookin out for me n my feels**

**TG: was that why you made me breakfast the next morning?**

**CG: WAIT SHUT UP.**

**CG: YOU SAW THEM TOGETHER?**

**TG: yeah they were bickering like an old divorced couple**

**CG: AND YOU ENGAGED??**

**TG: yea they were destroying the infrastructure around them with their fighting**

**CG: YOU FOUGHT THEM BOTH HEAD ON. WITHOUT BACKUP.**

**TG: tbh i didnt think theyd be that strong**

**CG: YOU’RE EVEN MORE IRRESPONSIBLE THAT I THOUGHT. YOU’RE AN ENTIRE CITY OF CLOWNS. A PLANET OF JESTERS. YOU’RE THE ENTIRE PURPLEBLOOD POPULATION.**

**CG: HOW ARE YOU NOT DEAD YET?**

**TG: hey i know im not the sharpest butterknife in the drawer but you really think i cant take them?**

**CG: NO, I KNOW YOU CAN’T TAKE THEM. THEY’RE BOTH LONG RANGE FIGHTERS AND YOU MAY BE FAST AS FUCK AND CAN HACK ENTIRE METEORS WITH AN ORIGAMI SWORD, BUT SHARP THINGS ONLY GET YOU AS FAR AS SAID SHARP THING IS LONG.**

**TG: …**

**TG: wow you really thought that out**

**CG: I THOUGHT THIS WAS COMMON SENSE. YOU DON’T GO INTO BATTLE BEFORE CONSIDERING YOUR OPTIONS.**

**TG: you know youd make a pretty good strategizer**

**CG: SPARE ME YOUR FLATTERY. I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU.**

**TG: dude im fine**

**TG: its been like two days and i havent died**

**CG: SOLLUX COULD HAVE DONE ALL SORTS OF NASTY SHIT WITH YOUR INSIDES. HOW DO YOU KNOW YOUR ORGANS HAVEN’T BEEN REARRANGED?**

**CG: DO NOT TELL ME THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID.**

**TG: thats what s**

**TG: dammit lol**

**TG: i mean i felt pretty much fine the next morning**

**TG: they did tell eachother to go easy on me**

**CG: WHAT? WHY?**

**TG: because of you**

**TG: they know im your arch-nemisis so i guess they didnt want you grilling them if they killed me**

**TG: not that i wouldve let them**

**TG: i could take them**

**TG: id just slow down time if it came to it**

**CG: DON’T START THIS WITH ME, STRIDER YOU EGG.**

**CG: ALSO, THAT’S FUCKING EMBARRASING.**

**TG: brb p sure theres a break in happening a few blocks away**

**CG: OH, SURE.**

You put the phone down. That’s probably going to take a while, you think. You also need a breather to be honest. You can feel your bloodpusher bumping against your chest. You want to deny it, but what would it even matter at this point? It was only a matter of time before your idiotic thinksponge decided that Dave also had to fit into your diamonds. And then he had to do something as reckless as fighting Sollux! You don’t care about Eridan. He may be a seadweller but he’s also an imbecile, but sollux is the most powerful psychic on the planet, maybe the whole galaxy. Dave couldn’t take him with the shiniest sword in his closet. You just hope Sollux went as easy on him as he said. He fucking better, actually, or you’ll eat him alive, fuck his psionics. The power of love will persevere you.

You get a notification that Dave took care of the burglars. He sends you a picture of the guys tied to a lamppost, looking very disgruntled that they were beaten by a teenager.

\---

>Dave: open the door

What? There’s no one at the door. Why would you open it? Besides, you’re in the middle of a Mario kart game. And you’re right behind Karkat this time. You’ve been saving your red shield for this. You’re sitting on the couch in the living room where the tv is bigger than in your room.

The doorbell rings right before the shield hits baby Luigi’s car and you pause. You just know Karkat is secretly going to reset the round with how competitive he is.

“Stay hidden, okay?”

Karkat nods. You open the door to a man that is very much not here to sell cookies. He’s wearing a suit and has a gun on his belt. You stare at him expectantly.

He takes a bagde out of his pocket to show you he’s with the police,

“I’m with the SAPD. Young man, have you seen any suspicious activity around here lately?”

“What? I don’t think so,” you lie, “What’s happening then?”

“We got intel that Karkat Vantas has been spotted around these parts of town. Do you know anything related that might help?”

“Hm..” you make an exaggerated thinking face, “I’ve heard that name before on tv… But no, nothing in particular comes to mind right now.”

“Alright then. Be careful. He could still be on the loose. Have a good day,” the man says as he turns around. You wave a hand before closing the door with a sigh.

“You doing okay Karkat?” you ask as you walk back to the tv. You find Karkat with his face drained of color. You put a hand on his shoulder as you sit next to him. He’s shaking.

“Are you? You just got interrogated by a cop,” he says.

“Hey it’s fine,” you shake him a little, “We’ll close the blinds and have you lay low for a bit. At least lower than usual.”

“That’s gonna be hard, since I’m already at rock bottom.”

“Well let me grab us some shovels then. You’ll be fine, I’ll make sure of it.”

“But that’s the fucking problem! You put your ass on the line for _me, t_ he lowest scum of the earth. What if you get found out? They’ll arrest you, and your entire life will be thrown upside-down! They’ll know everything about you, including your family. You’d be put in jail because of me!”

“Alright, first of all, that won’t happen. Second, I’m doing this on my own. I’m doing this because I want to. If I get caught, it’s my fault for getting involved. You didn’t ask to be busted out, remember?”

“That doesn’t help, cause I’m still the one who put you in jeopardy, who put fucking everyone at risk by getting caught in the first place! I- I’m just…

“I can’t do this.” He turns to you, “Not to you.”

Karkat must be having a crisis in that brain of his, which is priority but you can’t ignore the way he said that. You can, however, but it in one of the bottles for later. You’re pretty sure you’re steaming right now but you try to focus on comforting him.

“Look. Nothing’s gonna happen. They said you’d been spotted these _parts_ of town. The cops are going door to door asking around for any more intel and me being the best actor in the family, gave them the impression we’re just one house out of hundreds. They won’t give us any more trouble now.”

Karkat obviously doesn’t look convinced but tries calming himself down nonetheless. he sighs.

“Okay, alright. I guess I just need to take my mind off of it for now.”

“How about we watch a movie? You can choose. You go to my room and start up the movie while I make us some popcorn, sounds good?”

Karkat nods, looking at you with a not-all-the-way-there smile but a smile nonetheless.

You enter your room with a bowl of freshly popped corn and join Karkat in your bed. The two of you spend the rest of the night watching a Troll rom-com starring troll Adam Sandler.

\---

>Dave: awaken(yes ,again)

You wake up in your own bed for the first time this week, hugging a pillow, neatly tucked under the covers. You get up, take your shades from your nightstand(how did they get there?) and look around your room.

The sun is shining through the window and your internal clock tells you it’s 11:30. The laptop has been placed away on your desk and the empty popcorn bowl is no longer in sight. But you’ve been looking for something else that’s not in sight. Or rather, someone else. You guessed Karkat didn’t want to wake you up and just went to sleep on the couch in your stead tonight, but when you enter the living room, there’s no Karkat either. When asking around the house doesn’t turn anything up, you head back to your room to start up Pesterchum. Only when you open your laptop, there’s a note taped to the keyboard.

**DAVE, I’M LEAVING. PLEASE DON’T HATE ME.**

**I DON’T WANT TO ENDANGER YOU MORE THAN I ALREADY HAVE.**

**I’M SORRY. PLEASE DON’T FOLLOW ME.**

You drop the letter. Your first instinct is, of course, to go out to look for him. Fuck risking being seen, Karkat could be anywhere by now! While searching the ground you open pesterchum on your IShades and pester him from there.

**\--** **turntechGodhead [TG]** **began pestering** **carcinoGeneticist2 [CG]** **\--**

**TG: karkat**

**TG: please answer**

**TG: this isn’t funny btw**

**TG: im begging here man please come back**

**TG: at least tell me youre okay**

**TG: this isn’t helping anyone**

**TG: im so fucking worried about you please tell me you didnt turn yourself in**

**TG: please**

**TG: karkat**

**TG: karkat**

**TG: im not stopping until you answer**

**TG: I got all day**

**TG: karkat**

**TG: vantas**

**TG: cmon please**

**TG: come back well play mario kart and ill even try to keep myself awake for an entire troll movie**

**TG: I swear nothing bads gonna happen well all protect you**

**TG: you dont have to do this alone**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **blocked** **turntechGodhead [TG]**

**TG: fuck.**

**carcinoGeneticist [CG]** **did not receive message from** **turntechGodhead [TG]**

\---

>dave: flashback

It was a few years back. You had a rough day that day. When things got overwhelming you liked to go to this one spot in the woods bordering Skaia City. There was a little pond that, at the right time of night, beautifully reflected the moon. There were some conveniently fallen trees around it that you could sit on and you regularly went there to think, or to find some peace and quiet. You’d stare at the water ripples made by the tiny creatures living in the pond or fall back into the grass and stare at the sky.

You’ve never encountered anyone else there, so your arch nemesis was just about the last thing you expected to find when you walked into the little oasis. He was sitting on one of the dead trees. He looked up at you after you stepped on a twig, staring for a bit before saying,

“What. The fuck.”

“I could say the same,” you said, leaning against a tree. He took out his sickles as he stood and you held your hands in front of you as a sign that you meant no harm,

“Calm your tits, Vantas. I’m not looking for a fight.”

“Then why the fuck are you here? How did you even find me?”

“This is…” you hesitated. You didn’t Trust him back then but… the last scheme of him you remembered thwarting was the one where he melted all the strawberry ice cream in the city. It’s one of the schemes that was just so ridiculous that it made you rethink why you were fighting him.

“It’s kind of my safe point I guess.”

“Fucking enlightening, Strider. That doesn’t tell me anything.”

“Look, I didn’t know you’d be here. I just wanted some time alone, so you can imagine I don’t find this the greatest surprise in the world.”

Vantas growled, but it felt more like it was towards himself rather than you. He threw his head back,

“Auugh, shit festering meatsacks, Fine! As long as you keep your fucking trap shut I will allow you to sit here with me. In silence.”

One of the most uncomfortable nights you’ve experienced. You both sat on a log each, neither of you saying anything or looking at the other. Sometimes you dared glancing in his direction through your shades, and he just stared at the water with a frown.

\---

>Dave: find Karkat

After looking for him in every nook and cranny of the city you can think of and almost consider contacting members of Alternia to ask if they’ve seen him, you set out for the woods. Sitting at the little pond helps you think. Maybe you can think of something better than just searching the streets if it’s silent. It’s at least miles ahead of the loud hustle and bustle of the urban streets of Skaia.

You’d completely forgotten about that one time where you met him there in the middle of the night. You didn’t know what he was doing there, though, so there wasn’t really any reason for you to suspect this place.

And yet, Karkat was there. You breathe a sigh of relieve as you spot him.

You fly high above the treeless spot. You could recognise those nubby horns anywhere. 

You didn’t really get to make the dramatic entrance you wanted to. Karkat spots your reflection in the pond and looks up, surprised. You wave as you come down. Karkat stands up and starts running.

Well, that sure wasn’t what you expected to happen, but it’s the logical thing if he wanted to run away. You’re still quicker in the air, though, and catch up with him deeper into the woods.

You fly past Karkat and stop right in front of him, forcing him to stop in his tracks. He steps back a bit as he says,

“Go away, Dave. I don’t want this to be our last memory. Just let me go and forget this ever happened.”

“Fuck no, man. What were you thinking, just running away?”

Karkat takes out his sickles,

“Then I’ll just have to make you.”

You block his sickles with your sword. A familiar feeling waves over you as you push him back and start talking,

“What the hell do you mean, last memory? There’s enough memories to make if you just come back with me. We’ll figure it out, togeth-“

“No! Don’t say that. Please… I can’t keep this up -this _act_ that it’s going to turn out okay like some kind of fairytale. I can’t bear risking my friends and co-workers and- and _you._ My comfort isn’t worth anyone’s safety. Just go!”

He jumps forward an you dodge, making him slash the dirt.

“You don’t get to say what is and isn’t worth my safety. What are you even trying to accomplish by running away?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I’m running away to one of the other kingdoms, where the Skaian police department has no power over me. This is the best option for all of us. You’ll all be safe from my insensibility and I get to have another chance at life. Not that I deserve it… ugh.”

He goes back to swinging and you keep blocking. He’s trying to drive you back.

“Why would you do that to your friends? Just leaving without a trace or even an indication that you’re alive..? they wouldn’t want that. Think about what they’d feel, about what you’re doing to me!”

Wait- that- that wasn’t right. You slipped up. And Karkat’s caught on. He pauzes before lowering his sickles and saying,

“To you..?”

“Wh- that wasn’t. I meant-“ you stutter. Get it together, Strider, geez. You take a breath.

“I meant that you mean a lot to me as well, man. Think about how boring my shifts would be without you around.”

Karkat huffs, “You’ll find a new one in no-time. There’s twelve of us and eight of you. You’d like Aradia for sure.”

“I’m sure I would, but that’s not the point. I don’t want another rival, I want _you_.”

Karkat turns red and looks away. You, just realising what came out of your mouth, also start heating up.

“I mean-“

“I’m sorry. I don’t deserve you. You don’t know who I am, _what_ I am,” he says. You don’t know what he’s talking about. He’s the knight of blood. He’s a troll, a mutant and a loudmouth. What more is there to know?

“You don’t really know what it means to be a knight of blood. It’s a curse. One that I and nobody else deserves,” he says. You were muttering, you think. But you still don’t get it,

“I don’t have to understand you completely to be your friend, right? I’m fine with only knowing bits and pieces. However much you want to tell me, it’s not going to change how I see you. You’re a good person!“

“I’m a villain, Dave!” he waves his sickles in the air. You’re both yelling at this point like that’s going to help get either of your points across.

“You really want to argue that you’re a villain? You worry about my wellbeing, you patched me up after I passed out from blood loss- don’t think I didn’t notice that. “

“I’m a monster! Caring about someone doesn’t change that I’ve killed innocent people, that I made them suffer.”

“Who cares what happened in the past? You-“

“ _I_ care, Dave. It’s _my_ past so _I care_. I took a wrong turn in life and now I’m a villain! this is the choice I made!”

“You’re not a villain! there’s nothing you could do to change my mind, Karkat.”

“You really want me to change your mind?! You want me to show you what terrors I’ve been hiding from you?! Do you want me to _force_ you to go back home?” Tears well up in his eyes as his face darkens,

“You want a villain, you got one.”

Moments after he finishes talking your vision turns red. You close your eyes, shielding them with your arm from the sudden flare of wind, you dig your heels into the ground.

When you open your eyes, Karkat is on front of you, except he’s in the air, lifted by strings of…blood. And he has a lot of it. beads of blood form a sort of shield around him. Tentacles of red liquid float in the air, ready to fight whatever is in his way, His sickles back in his sylladex. His eyes are filled with red, and he’s crying. he looks very clearly distressed. You wonder where he got all that blood from.

A pigeon takes off at the commotion, and gets sucked dry by Karkat in mid-air. The pool of blood makes its way towards Karkat’s huge unit of it around him. The shrivelled up bird drops a few feet away from you. You don’t want to look at it, so you focus on looking at Karkat.

“Karkat, please calm down!” you yell. You don’t think he can hear it, or anything for that matter. He almost doesn’t look in control of his body. The tentacles become spike-shaped and sharge towards you. You slash the one on your right with your sword and flash step away for the one on the left.

“I don’t wanna fight you- shit!”

An arm of blood gets a hold of your ankle and whips you into the air. It holds you up in front of Karkat, upside-down. You can get a good look at him from here. Namely, the amount of grief and pain in his eyes.

“Go home.”

“Karkat, listen-“

He throws you towards the city. You catch yourself in the air and head right back to him. You stay in the air even though that gives Karkat more angles to attack you from. You need to be eye level with him.

you never wanted to hug someone so bad.

“Please, you’re not a monster, this isn’t what you represent. You’re hope and progress towards a-“ You dodge a blood-whip that was about to hit you “- a better future,” you finish. Karkat hesitates. You continue.

“You said yourself you never wanted anyone to go through the same shit as you did. Why give up on that? You’ve come so far, and every day you’re getting closer. Every day you make new allies that can help you towards the utopian city you’ve always envisioned!”

Karkat’s arms lower.

“You can lead your people to victory.”

“I’m not worth it,” he says.

“You’re worth me. You inspire me to be better, to want to be better, and you make me worry about to like I’ve never worried about anyone before.”

Karkat looks at you, really looks at you. And you see the hint of a smile.

“I…“ he starts lifting his hand to hold it out to you, “You-“

A gunshot.

A wound in Karkat’s abdomen. It’s bleeding.

what’s happening?

You turn around to see two cops aiming their gun at Karkat.

One of them still has some smoke around the barrel.

Karkat falls.

“No!”

You catch him just before he reaches the ground. He’s still breathing.

“No, no, no, no, please be okay. God, what am I saying you just got shot!”

“I’m sorry..” Karkat tries. He lifts his hand. You squeeze it. The red from his eyes dissipate as all the blood that was previously in the air falls down, painting the grass redder than it already was.

“It’s okay, just- just try to preserve your energy. okay?” You try to stop the bleeding with your cape, completely ignoring the cops running towards you.

“Please don’t die on me, not now.” Your voice breaks. You don’t care. You have to find a way to treat this fucking bullet in his stomach!

you fly off with Karkat in your arms. Leaving two cops and a fuck ton of blood behind. Jane is a healer. Jane can take care of this. You call rose through your shades to get everyone at Egbert’s stat.

“What is happening, Dave? You sound really distraught.” Rose asks after you ask her to come.

“That’s because I am and I need all the help I can get right now. Roxy went to medical school, right? Be sure to take her with you. I’ll see you there,” you say before hanging up. You have to focus on getting to John’s

It’s not far from here. He’s going to be alright, He’s going to be alright, you repeat to yourself while flying 60 miles an hour.

\---

>Dave: worry

You keep holding Karkat’s hand as jane tries to concentrate on healing him. Karkat is lying unconscious on the couch (bleeding out on it. sorry harleyberts, you’ll buy them a new one). Rose sits in another chair in the living room and Roxy’s back in the kitchen, cleaning her tools. John helplessly looks on at the scene playing out before him.

When you arrive, it was no surprise that everyone was, well, surprised. You were holding a villain that had escaped prison and hadn’t been seen since. You had to wait for Roxy to arrive, since even though jane has magic healing powers, healing a body with the bullet still in it is not a great idea.

“What’s going on, dave? Why did Rose tell me to pack my medical kit?” she asked when the door opened. You’re grateful for Rose’s competence.

And now you’re just waiting for jane to finish healing him. you squeeze his hand again. you feel his pulse getting slower and your heart drops. You don’t think that’s good.

“Gah- bollocks, I think I’m losing him!” Jane says, sweat beading off her forehead.

“What- no, what’s happening?”

“Well, I can’t say for sure since he’s a mutant. He may be weaker than the average lowblood.”

“No, no, no please, Karkat, keep fighting.” You hug him and keep muttering into his sweater. “Don’t let it all be for nothing..” you let out a sob, “I love you so much, Karkat. Please come back…”

The door crashes open. You flinch up and look who decided to barge in.

In the doorway is The sylph of space and witch of life.

“You’re here!” Rose perks up, “and you brough the healer, I presume?”

“Where is he?” Maryam asks, tears trailing off her cheeks.

“You called your girlfriend?!” you ask Rose.

“Not my girlfriend. And her best friend’s life was in danger. This concerns her as well.” She tells you matter-of-factly, “Besides, I told her to bring her party’s healer. Feferi Peixes can help.”

The witch, Peixes, greets Jane,

“Hi! Mind if I give you a fin?”

“Uh- uhm- well alright..? It’s not like it can get any worse than this.”

“Here, hold my hand,” Peixes says. Jane does so and the room gets filled with a sparkling green fume. You can feel that papercut from yesterday healing away.

With two life players, the task of healing a bullet wound is no challenge anymore.

“Now he just has to wake up on his own,” jane says after they finish, “Thanks, uh..”

“Feferi,” peixes says, shaking the hand she was still holding, “Pleasure to meet another life player.”

“Yes, likewise. I wouldn’t have done it without you, Feferi.”

Kanaya walks up to you and Karkat and kneels down next to you,

“What happened…?”

“It’s… a long story. But in the end, it was some cops that had to ruin it all.” You say, leaning back in relief that Karkat is okay. Now that the worry about him is gone, anger about those two police officers wells up in you.

“They had no right to do that! If it wasn’t for our healers, Karkat would’ve died! The face of that guy is forever sealed into my brain. When I see him again, Karkat won’t be the only one of us to get charged for assaulting a cop.”

\---

>Karkat: wake the fuck up

You wake up. Your eyes are still closed, but the light shines through your eyelids, making you scowl. Who the fuck has lights so bright? You feel a hand on your arm and a voice, presumable talking to you. you hold your arm to shade your eyes before opening them. You get caught in a hug. The person holding you is wearing flashy red fleece pyjamas. His shades dig into your neck. It’s Dave.

“Dave, give him some space,” another voice calls out. You don’t mind, actually. You hug him back. Why would he hug you?

Events from before you passed out start coming back to you. you ran away, unleashed your blood powers-you internally gag at the image- and… you got shot.

“Karkat, you’re awake!” Kanaya says from your right. You look up and see Kanaya walking towards you from another block.

Wait…

“Kanaya?!” you shout. Dave lets go of you and Kanaya immediately takes the opportunity to hug you instead.

“Dude mind the volume when my ear is right next to your vocal cords,” he says light-hearted.

“Wow- what-“ you are so confused. “What happened…? You’re not supposed to be here… wherever the fuck here is.” You look around. The house looks well maintained, safe for the couch. There’s statues of jesters and clowns all over the place.. is this Egbert’s house? Lalonde is sitting across from you and you hear voices from other parts of the hive.

“Rose called me here. You still owe me an explanation of the last two weeks.”

“Didn’t I get shot? Is this a dream bubble?”

“Nope,” Dave says, “Both your and our healers teamed up and saved you.” Kanaya also lets go of you. and sits on the cushion next to yours.

“I will never get the image of that gory bullet out of my head, thank you very much,” Lalonde says.

“You didn’t have to stay and watch, that was entirely your own fault,” Dave counters.

“Dave,” you say, “how many people now know about me?”

Dave laughs uncomfortably, “Not _that_ much, really. Only like, Ten people.”

“Actually I told our group Memo that I found you.” Kanaya adds, “So pretty much everyone.”

You put your head in your hands and sigh.

“How long was I out for?”

“Couldn’t’ve been more than an hour,” Dave answers. Rose gets up, saying she has to go tell the others you’re awake.

“The others? Is Egbert here?”

“He’s here, yeah. But also a bunch of other people.” Dave says.

“And Feferi.” Kanaya adds, “I’ll go with rose and give you two some… time alone.” She gives you a knowing look. You flip her off, steaming from embarrassment.

When Kanaya closes the door behind her, Dave gives you another hug. You just sit there in silence, enjoying each other’s warmth.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you,” he says after a while.

“Fuck that. I’m not some damsel in distress, I can take care of myself.”

“Still… I guess I shouldn’t’ve pushed you like that.”

“…Do you hate me now?”

“Dude I’m squeezing your lungs out and you ask if I hate you?”

“You could’ve worded that a bit better.”

“Ha, okay. But I don’t hate you. To be honest, those blood powers were kinda sick.”

“…What you saw.. it’s a part of me I’ve been trying to suppress. It’s not who I want to be.”

“I’d say you should accept yourself as you are but I know you’re just going to ignore that. Instead, trust me when I say this:” he pulls back to look at you, “What horrors you’re capable of doesn’t define you. _Everyone_ can do bad things. What makes a person good is the _choice_ to do good, and willingness to learn from the past. You’ve checked all those boxes as far as I’m concerned.”

“Yeah… I guess.”

“You don’t have to believe me yet. just remember those words next time you feel like shit.”

\---

>Karkat: sleepover

Jane decided you needed supervision until she was sure you’ve been completely healed. You and dave got to have the guest room. The rest agreed to just go home for the night. Your head hits the pillow with a force to match sollux’s psionics. Dave is still in the bathroom, but his bed at the other end of the room is already a mess. Ready to wrap today up, you close your eyes.

What the hell is that shuffling? You open your eyes to see Dave opening the window with one leg already on the windowsill.

“Do you think you’re being stealthy?” Dave flinches at your voice.

“Well I didn’t think this window would be so fucking loud.”

“Where are you going?”

“Don’t worry, just the roof.”

“The roof? Why?”

“Oh, dude, you’re missing out. The roof is the best part of a house.” He holds out a hand, “c’mon let me show you.”

You put on your sweater before taking his hand. It’s already blood-stained so you’re not worried it might get dirty.

You and dave climb up to the roof. It’s pointed and doesn’t have a proper place to stand so you nearly slip off a few times.

“This is what you call the pinnacle of a pastime?”

“Yeah, but I guess it’s a bit too exciting if you can’t fly. And I don’t suppose you want to use your bloody powers to catch you.”

“No, I’d rather break my leg falling. We have a healer in the hive, so it’s fine.”

You climb to the top and sit on the rigde. It’s uncomfortable and you have the risk of falling looming under you. what’s so great about this?

Dave points up. You follow his finger up to the sky, which has countless of stars flickering into your view. You feel the cool breeze blow through your hair. The air smells like nostalgia.

“I get up here when it’s late and I don’t feel like flying all the way to the forest. It’s nice to just think about stuff while looking over the neighbourhood. Or look at the stars if there’s a power-outage in the area.”

“I guess this is pretty nice…” you look around at the houses in the vicinity. Some still have their backyard lights turned on. One house on your left still has Christmas lights up.

Thee breeze picks up and turns more like wind. You shiver.

“Oh, right. Here,” Dave says. Wrapping his cap around you. you still have no idea how the fuck that cape exists while completely ignoring the laws of physics. It doesn’t drag behind him when walking but can turn into the size of a blanket when he does shit like this. you lean into him nonetheless.

“You have no fucking idea how worried I was today, man.”

“I’m sorry?”

“You better fucking be,” he leans back again, sitting next to you on the couch, “I just hope you learned your lesson.”

“My lesson? If I can be honest, Dave… I don’t think I was in the wrong here.”

Dave sighs.

“I get that you want to protect us. But you gotta understand we want the same for- you know what, let’s have this conversation another time. I’m just happy you’re alive.” Dave smiles at you. your stomach feels weird and you don’t know if it’s from the bullet or Dave. Suddenly, you remember something. You forgot to bring it up today. Might as well ask now, now that you’re alone.

“Hey, Dave,” you begin.

“Hm?”

“You, uh.” How are you going to ask this? “When I was unconscious, I think I heard voices… Your voice in particular. I can’t remember it well but. You said something.”

“Oh, you… haha….. That’s uh, pretty weird, huh? Being able to hear things while you’re asleep. Almost like you were in a coma. Wait, were you in a coma?”

“I don’t fucking know, just. You know what I’m talking about, right?”

“Uh. Yeah I think so.” Dave turns red.

“…Did you mean it?”

“uhhh……” he sinks his face into his scarf, “Yeah,” he mutters. “But I get it if you don’t feel the same, we can just ignore it, really. Just forget this ever happened.”

“No, wait I do!” Dave shoots up from his scarf. “It’s just… trolls have quadrants and…”

“I’m fine with those! You can choose the quadrant, I’m fine with anything.”

“Actually, that’s the problem.” Dave looks confused. “I… don’t think I feel just one thing… Gah! How do I explain this…? I’m greedy! And I just want you in every quadrant, but that’s insane!”

“Is it? Humans don’t have quadrants. It’s all squashed together into one.”

“Yeah, but I’m a troll. Not only am I physically fucked, now my thinksponge chemistry is messed up too.”

Dave lets out a chuckle, “That’s what I find great about you, dude. Always subverting the status quo like a boss.”

“Holy shit, don’t say that. I’ve had enough cursed images etched into my thinksponge today.” You say flippantly.

“We don’t have to conform to any of our romance rules. Let’s just do whatever.”

“What would that even entail?”

“It means we don’t have to put a label on our relationship. Just go with whatever feels right at the time?”

“Our relationship, huh?”

“Oh, uh- I mean.…hah...”

“I like that.”

“…Yeah?”

“I’m already an abomination, might as well embrace it.”

“Hell yeah, mutant pride!”

You both laugh. Dave hugs you again.

“You’re really huggy today.”

“I think I’m allowed to be, after what has happened today.”

“But, wait.”

“Ugh, now what.”

“You’re a hero and I’m a villain. how’s that going to work?”

“… Right.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, we’ll figure something out eventually for sure. But.. do you really want to keep being a villain?”

“I can’t just abandon my friends, you know? And I can’t take over the city if I’m a law-abiding, tax-paying citizen.”

Dave leans back, still holding your shoulders,

“I have an idea,” he says, shaking them. You laugh,

“What is it, enlighten me. Let me see into your shit-filled thinksponge.”

“What if I help you instead?”

“You… what???????”

“Let’s take over Skaia City together! Because let’s face it, the only reason you haven’t preformed a coup yet is because of me.”

“You want to switch sides????”

“Yeah! Let’s be gay and do crimes! I’m tired of being nice and helping the very same cops that fucking shot you! I just wanna go apeshit, you know what I’m sayin’?”

“I do, in fact, not know what you’re sayin’. But if that’s what you want to do, who am I to stop you? but what about your friends?”

“They don’t mind. As long as I keep myself out of prison and come home for diner, they’re peachy.”

“Kou won’t have to fight them?”

“We’ll keep in the shadows and focus on taking over the government and keep away from any flashy schemes. We’ll attack and take control of the city hall in one fell swoop! You get to do your bureaucracy thing and you won’t be wanted anymore. It’s two flies caught with one stone.”

“You really just planned that all out just now?”

“Obviously there’s more to it, but we’ll figure it out when we get there. Are you in?”

“As long as we’re together, I’ll do anything.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I ended up never expanding a bunch of ideas I introduced in the first half of the fic. I’m just glad I finished another wip from three years ago. the fact that you're reading this must mean you actually read through all 20.000 words of this, so thanks for reading my cringe compilation :)


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